Ayano Senaha22:29
It was when I was in my late 20s, 27 or so. I raised my hand again and was assigned to be in London. That was a company we had just acquired, right after acquisition—a staffing firm in London with over 250 employees and revenue around 300-350 million. The job opening was on an internal platform that anybody could apply for as long as you were qualified. The guidelines had four or five things like management experience, a certain level of English, experience in staffing business, or financial expertise. I had none of those; I wasn't the best-fit candidate. But the boss at the time somehow saw something in me and chose me over all those qualified candidates. He placed me in London, which was my first time entering that country. My job was to turn the company around because it wasn't doing great. I was the only one sent from the parent company, and throughout the years I spent in London, I was the only Japanese representative. It was tough. From their point of view, they were acquired by a company they'd never heard of, and now this new parent company sent a 20-something young lady who didn't seem to know about the country or business. They thought they'd treat me nicely as a guest and send me back. The first four months were really tough. I hit a low point where I almost gave up. That was a Friday afternoon, appraisal time. My boss, an English man who is now a good friend but was then an enemy because I was the one pointing out what wasn't working, gave me the appraisal. He wrote something like, 'Senaha is a great talent in Recruit Group, but we need to think about where to find her next.' It was a polite way of saying they didn't need me, so take her back. I felt it was unfair, the setup itself was unfair. I had proposed many ideas, but they weren't accepted, and this boss who hated me was giving the appraisal. I felt helpless. It was Friday afternoon, and I went home. I was married, left my husband in Tokyo, and was alone and lonely in London. I cried and cried, that ugly cry, and couldn't eat or think, considering going back. Then Saturday morning, I was hungry, so I went out. When I opened the door, sunlight was shining on me. Although I felt emotional pain, my body functioned fine—I was hungry, and people were having a good time because it was a beautiful Saturday. I realized life is beautiful. Let's face it, the pain I'm feeling is small. Why am I so upset? Let's break it down. I faced the fact that I wasn't fully ready, not capable to do the role professionally. That's the hard truth I needed to face. I had to stop complaining about the setup or blaming others because this is what I chose, knowing I wasn't fully ready. From that moment on, I focused on what I could do better and differently, and that's how I started to become a member of the team. We had a great adventure afterwards, but that's the lowest point. Raising your hand is important, but you will hit rock bottom because you're not fully ready, and it's okay. You can change your actions, and that can change other people's reactions.