Hello and welcome to the Vergecast, the flagship podcast of throwing your phone into the ocean and going on vacation. I'm your friend David Pierce, and on today's episode, we're going to talk about disconnecting. This is the beginning of a long holiday weekend for a lot of us here in the US. In general, I hope a lot of you are planning some big, elaborate, exciting global, multinational summer vacation. And I figured it might be helpful to pull a bunch of people on our team for the best tips that they have on disconnecting. I will say the Verge is not famously a place everybody is really good at being offline, but we still grabbed a bunch of people and decided when you want to get offline, particularly as somebody who spends a lot of time online, on devices, looking at screens, how do you get off of it? We asked a bunch of people, we have some great tips coming up. I think you're going to enjoy them. I have two before we get started.
My first one is especially on vacation to designate a place for technology. Have all of your laptops and phones, all of your chargers, all of your everything in one place, whether it's a table or like have this be the phone couch. Make it so that technology is available. I think in general, the idea of like not looking at your device for a week is probably not realistic to most people, but it should be a thing you have to go to, especially on vacation, rather than something that is just in your pocket all the time. You will be amazed at how many fewer times you find yourself just absent-mindedly checking it when you have to like stand up and walk across the house to go open your laptop. That's number one.
Number two is get everybody on board with whatever disconnecting plan that you have. I found that phone usage in particular is sort of a cascading problem. You sit down on the couch and it's like, okay, we could do a puzzle, we could play a game, we could watch a movie together, we could all go do something, but then one person takes out their phone and the mood sort of shifts downward, and then somebody else takes out their phone and it sort of shifts downward. And all of a sudden, you just have this waterfall effect of everybody being on their phone. But if you can get everybody to buy into this strategy of like whether you want to put your phones into a bowl and have nobody look at them all day, whether you want to have the technology placed and it's like, "Okay, we're all going to sit around the table and do our work for an hour while we are here sort of in a communal technology space and then we're going to go back to something else." Getting everyone to agree on the approach to screens goes an incredibly long way. And I have found that sitting around being the bored one while everybody else looks at their phone sort of defeats the purpose. But making it so that no one else can do it and you all have to figure out something to do together is the whole point. So that's my other tip. Get everybody on board, designate a place. That's my plan for the weekend. We'll see how it goes.
All right, let's get into all of our other tips. Bunch of stuff for you for disconnecting. My great hope is that you get to the end of this episode, you turn off this podcast, you go enjoy your long weekend, and you don't even think about screens for a while. That's what I'm hoping for me. That's what I hope for you, too. Let's get into some tips. Verge senior reporter Hayden Field. Hi, Hayden.
I've known you a while and you are not a person I would say is like terrific at disconnecting, but do you have a good disconnecting tip for when you really want to do it?
So number one, any app that I feel like I spend a lot of time on, I just make it a little harder to get to. I just put it in a folder on like the second screen of my phone, which is a really all my tips are pretty like low-tech, but I think sometimes that's the best because we're all lazy. Introducing any amount of friction in like a thing that you usually do mindlessly, I feel like is a huge help. So that's a big help for me. And then my other tips are just about like notifications. Like I don't have notifications on for any apps at all. I only have like of course texts and calls, but every other app, I don't think it's a big deal if I just check it when I check it. So, someone Instagram messages me, okay, like that's probably not time-sensitive. If they really needed to get a hold of me, they would text me or call me. So, that's a big tip for me. It's like just turning off all notifications, even email, because it's like I check email enough. I don't need to be notified the second an email comes in, especially since like in our workplace, no one's emailing us if they want to get a hold of us right away internally.
But wait, when you say all notifications, do you literally mean every single, no exceptions, all notifications on your phone?
I guess, now that I think about it, Venmo, I have notifications on because I'm like I mean obviously I want to pay someone right away, but otherwise, no. Yeah, no notifications. And Signal because it's messaging, but yeah. And then my very last tip is this is kind of crazy, but I don't check who views my story on Instagram, who likes my posts on Twitter or Instagram. I only read comments. I don't check like likes. I don't check views on any social media platform because it helps me feel like I'm just posting into the void. I'm like I don't It's none of my business who's looking at my stuff. I don't want to know. If they comment, great. Otherwise, I don't want to be like too aware of who's perceiving me because I think that is the biggest thing that is our detriment on social media a lot of times. So, yeah, those are my tips for maybe not unplugging totally, but for not being as negatively affected by if you don't want to unplug completely.
That's pretty good. Do you like turn that feeling on and off when you're like sometimes I will go look at who viewed my story, or is this just like a blanket rule you have for yourself? Post into the void, don't worry about it.
It's blanket. I haven't looked in years because I think that if you start, you never stop. You know what I mean? It's like if you like it's kind of a blanket rule for myself and my mental health. I'm like I don't want to know. And also I can know I remember from years ago when I would check, I would act differently. I'd be like, oh, well, if this person sees it? Like, oh, maybe I shouldn't post this. And it's like, who cares? Like, and same with Twitter. Like, I don't need to know individually who's liking my stuff. Like, okay. It just doesn't matter. So, if you need to know something, there's a comment, you know? So, I just think for some people, maybe they can handle that. But for me, I think I just become too aware of who's perceiving me and I would rather just be myself the normal way.
Ah, I love that. All right, Hayden, thank you. Appreciate it.
All right, next up, The Verge's Jen Tuohy from a hotel room somewhere in deep South Carolina. Hi, Jen.
Jennifer Pattison Tuohy
6:19 ↗
Hi.
We're talking to people about disconnecting and how they get offline and we are a uniquely online group of people. How do you disconnect? Give me all your good tips.
Jennifer Pattison Tuohy
6:31 ↗
Okay, so I have two. I have one for when you stay at home and one sort of quality of life tip. So, quality of life tip, go camping.
Jennifer Pattison Tuohy
6:42 ↗
No Wi-Fi anywhere out in the woods. In fact, I'm in northern South Carolina right now and surrounded by mountains and woods and my husband's already planning our next camping trip. So, yes.
We're going to do this from like a yurt next time, basically.
Jennifer Pattison Tuohy
6:58 ↗
He selects campgrounds that do not have cell service or Wi-Fi. So, you have no choice. Although my children do manage to find like the one edge of the mountain they can go stand on and hold their phone up in the air. But other than that, that is because disconnecting isn't just about disconnecting from the internet. It's about disconnecting from your everyday life and there's nothing that is more of a contrast for me from my technologically advanced home to a travel trailer. I don't do the tent thing. I do need a trailer.
Jennifer Pattison Tuohy
7:40 ↗
And you know, that is the perfect experience for me for disconnecting. Simple to do, anyone can do it. That's the other advantage. And then the other simple to do, anyone can do it tip I have in your home, so if you're staying at home and you want to disconnect is just turn off the Wi-Fi. It's simple, but it works. And in my home especially, so I use an Eero router at the moment and you can just literally hit a button in the app, Wi-Fi off. And it does mean that nothing in my home will work anymore, but
The lights go off. Like the fridge doesn't work, but you
Jennifer Pattison Tuohy
8:17 ↗
Some things will continue to work thanks to local control. But yes, for me it's just for the whole family it's a way of forcing everyone to get off their devices and hang out together. I mean, there are you can buy like there's a device called the brick that you can buy and but you don't really need that if you've got dedicated downtime. You're like, "Okay, let's just turn off the internet." And that gives a no cell phones, no music, just family time.
Very good. Do you do that on a regular basis or is that like a sort of break in case of emergency?
Jennifer Pattison Tuohy
8:52 ↗
I try and do it when we're all at home and we're doing something together. I do because yes, you can do do not disturb on your phone or you can use parental controls to turn off their iPhone, you know, there's things you can do. The problem with that is I'm still on my phone trying to do it. Like, and then I get distracted and whereas just flip the switch and everyone's offline and it's fair and equal. And yeah, so I try and I mean regular basis, maybe like once a month.
Jennifer Pattison Tuohy
9:24 ↗
I should do it more. I should do it more though. You've inspired me, especially this summer.
Yeah, I agree. I think turn off the Wi-Fi, we're all going outside is a thing I should probably say more in my house.
Jennifer Pattison Tuohy
9:35 ↗
It's simple and it works, so that would be my advice.
It's a good one. All right, thank you, Jen. Appreciate it. All right, next up, The Verge's senior tech editor, Marina Galperina. Hi, Marina.
You have a tip that it seems like it is born of just the pure anarchy of living in New York City. Tell me about it.
Let your phone die. Just don't charge it.
Is this not the same as just turn your phone off, which I think is like a lovely but totally untenable idea?
But you can't turn it back on. That's the
Oh, that's interesting. So, okay. Do you Is this a thing you actually do in your life?
A thing I actually do in my life. I have an alarm clock on my Apple Watch, so I don't need my phone necessarily. I tried plugging it in in the other room, that doesn't work. I tried screen time limits. I just keep snoozing them, doesn't work. So, thankfully, my outlet doesn't work by my bed, so the phone just dies. And then the evening's over.
So, you take this to mean it is time for me to go to bed because my phone is dead now?
Or watch TV, whatever, yeah.
I kind of love that, actually.
Like, I'm just I'm in a race against my phone.
Then your day is just over. No more news. No more Instagram. Is this a thing you started doing on purpose or just discovered because literally your phone just dies sometimes because your outlet is broken?
The outlet. And it's not the first outlet. I recently moved, and the outlet in my old apartment also didn't work. There was like one working outlet per room because Bushwick, you know.
This is the universe sending you a sign that this is a good idea, and you should keep doing this.
So, okay. My actual philosophical question here is I'm trying to decide if this is the same bit of advice that people give who are like, "Just have more discipline. Don't look at your phone as much." And I always just want to give those people a middle finger and be like, "If I could do that, we wouldn't be having this conversation." Why is letting my phone die not just being a more disciplined person and not looking at my phone?
Well, they always say that willpower is not a way to overcome addictive behaviors, so just create barriers between yourself and the behavior, and that is for me to keep the phone not charged. I mean, it's pretty bad if there's like a family emergency, I guess.
I sincerely grapple with this because that's the exact thing, right? It's like, sure, I could charge my phone in the basement. I sleep upstairs. It could be fine. I could be far away from my phone. There is that little tiny part of me that is like, well, what if something happens? What if someone needs to get in touch with me? Has this ever happened in the time? Have you ever missed anything in the time that you have been letting your phone die at night?
I've missed questions about weather from my mother
who hears there's rain in New York, but nothing. But I get up so early, and most of my calls that are important would come from 3 hours beforehand, so
It's still evening almost.
If there's an emergency, we're good. It's fine.
No, this is a good tip, and I like the idea of having external forces require you to not use your devices. This is a thing that's kind of coming up over and over as we talk to people for this episode. It's like, I need to engineer some act of God that prevents me from using my devices.
Yeah. I think that's right. All right, Marina, that's good stuff. Thank you.
All right, next up, Meredith Haggerty, Verge editor. Welcome.
First time on the Vergecast.
This is a huge day for you.
It is huge day for me, yes. Thank you. I'm honored.
