Chief Operating Officer, Fiverr International
Ep. 13 Hila Klein | Where My Moms At
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(213) 375-5184
WHERE MY MOMS AT!? It's the show by the Moms for the Moms. Hosted by everybody's favorite "cool mom" Christina P! Not only the most REAL show for moms, but the most interactive. An open place to admit no one really knows what they're doing.
On today's episode, Hila Klein, one half of the H3 podcast, founder of the clothing line "Teddy Fresh" and brand new mom joins the show. She has just emerged from the "Dark Forest" in terms of Mom-dom, reaching the 4 month stage. Hila discusses her disdain for Breast-feeding and how it plays into her "Mom Guilt." Sh...
About Hila Klein
In a September 2019 appearance on the podcast "Where My Moms At," Hila Klein discussed her experiences as a new mother and the challenges of balancing work and parenting. Klein said she had hired additional staff for her clothing line Teddy Fresh during her pregnancy to delegate tasks, and noted that she was considering hiring a nanny but felt guilt about not dedicating herself fully to being at home. She described struggling with breastfeeding and pumping, stating that she eventually stopped and began taking Lexapro to prioritize her mental health. Klein also mentioned that Teddy Fresh had released a collaboration with Drip and Dip available at Zumiez. Klein spoke about her personal approach to work and productivity, saying she likes staying busy because boredom leads to depression and self-loathing. She also reflected on aging, stating that at 43 she realized she should take more days off, as she would not look back on her life wishing she had worked more.
Transcript (55 segments)
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Christine0:10
I have an extended residency at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank. That means every Thursday, more or less, unless I'm on the road through December. I will be doing the Yoohoo Room at Flappers in Burbank. It's a very intimate setting. There's only like 50 seats. I like to just work stuff out, and I really like to see your beautiful faces. So come to the show. And then November 22nd and 23rd, I'm doing Seattle and then Portland. Tickets at christineandp.com. I'll be announcing 2020 dates pretty soon, going to crazy places. But first, I am so excited to announce my guest today. You guys have overwhelmingly requested her. Miss Hila Klein. Not only are you half of the H3 Podcast with your husband, what's his name, who cares? Hila Klein. I love your morning show. If you're an entrepreneur not familiar with her brand, it's called Teddy Fresh and I'm rocking it now because I love your gear. Thank you. And also you just became an American. So hey.
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Hila Klein2:20
I had my oath ceremony yesterday.
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Christine2:25
Yesterday? Yeah. What did you do? Go downtown to Wilshire, the Convention Center? And did you get a hot dog after? No? Did they play the 'Coming to America' song? They played something like that. Okay. And then we had a clip from Trump. Oh, you're very special. I'm surprised he would do the video. Yeah, I think he was pro-immigrant. Well congratulations. From a different culture, and to come here and be hugely successful with Teddy Fresh and everything you do. Thank you. And on top of all that, you're a new mom. Yeah. I mean, could life be any crazier? No, yeah, yeah. How's it going?
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Hila Klein3:28
I guess I like being busy because when I'm bored, I get depressed. So it's kind of like a crazy cycle of wanting to have a boring day but then feeling like I want to kill myself.
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Christine3:46
A hundred percent. I go through that too. If I'm not being productive, I feel like a loser, not doing enough. But then I'm like, let's have a fun day just chilling and watching the baby and the dogs. But I have a hard time letting go and enjoying something. And you know what's crazy? Now that I'm 43 years old, I realize that I don't have many great years left. Once you hit 50, I feel like I'm going to die. So I should really start enjoying things more and take more days off.
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Hila Klein5:12
I'm 31 now, so I feel like the thirties are the chasing years. But then I wonder, am I going to be able to say no at some point?
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Christine5:29
Yeah, the 30s are the chasing years. I lost a decade doing standup. My 30s were in hotels. Every story was like 'and then I was in this hotel in the Midwest.' Then in your 40s, you can be more selective because you've established yourself. It shouldn't be as much of a grind. So talking about mom, are you going to get a nanny?
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Hila Klein6:11
We can't work. How old is your baby? Three and a half months. So we're out of the newborn fog. I always had this idea that since we both work from home, when we have a kid, we'll be able to stay home and still work. But you really can't get any work done. I had this illusion that the baby would nap and I'd check emails or write. So I'm looking to get a nanny now. And then I started feeling guilty, like should I not work and just dedicate being at home?
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Christine7:28
That's every mother's conundrum. Especially if you have children later in life. You're established with more resources, but you also want to keep your career going. I can't give up a 15-year career in standup because of children. That would be a colossal waste.
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Hila Klein8:10
When I was pregnant, I started hiring more people for Teddy Fresh so I could hand off things and free myself. It's starting to pay off now. I realize I don't need to be there for everything. I'm a control freak. I have to order the groceries, do the Amazon. But I gave up a lot of that too.
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Christine9:10
Free time is everything. We talk about outsourcing a lot on this show. Can you hire someone to clean your house for $40 a week? Do it. Can you do Instacart? Do it. If you find a nanny you trust and adore, like our nanny's been with us since Ellis was four months old, she's the only other person I trust besides my husband and myself. Let's talk about the beginning because you're in it. We talk about the dark forest. That's what Leanne Kreischer coined.
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Hila Klein10:17
Everyone asked me what I was planning for delivery. I didn't care. Whatever happens, we were just going to show up. Delivery is the beginning of the nightmare. You can't plan much anyway. The first week was awful, the first month was awful, the first two months were pretty awful.
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Christine10:55
Everybody focuses on pregnancy and the birth, but no one tells you about after. You're exhausted, you've been laboring for days, you haven't slept, and now you're expected to take care of this baby while you're broken. Your vagina is ripped up, you're in pain, you're learning to breastfeed. It's your most broken point of existence, and they're like 'here, do this whole thing you know nothing about.' And 'don't forget to eat well to produce milk.' But you can barely walk, let alone take care of yourself.
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Hila Klein11:56
I had an easy pregnancy. No morning sickness. I didn't have back pain. I slept well. I lost all the weight quickly. I know everyone hates me for it.
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Christine13:17
I hate you too. But it's genetics. Some people snap back faster. That's the benefit of having babies younger. For me, pregnancy was fine, but the first week after delivery was rough. Everything is so hard, and then you have to remember to be nice to each other. It's almost impossible. I felt bad because I didn't pay enough attention to my husband on his birthday. I got him a nice pair of shoes at the last minute.
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Hila Klein15:10
You don't understand the baby in the beginning. You think you're the parent and should know best, but it's not there yet. You barely feel feelings towards him. It's a blur of chaos. You're just trying to keep this thing alive. I felt a lot of anxiety. We didn't even know how to put Ellis in the car seat. A nurse had to show us. That drive home from the hospital was terrifying. They just hand you the baby and you're on your own. I had no idea what to do.
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Christine16:24
I wish they'd kept the baby in the nursery like in the old days, at least for a day or two. In Israel, they still do that. They take the baby so the mom can sleep, and if the baby needs to feed, they wake you up. That would have helped.
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Hila Klein17:30
Delivery was not as bad as I thought. I feared it for years and almost didn't want kids because of it. I was most afraid of how the baby would come out. But once I understood how the body is designed, with the pubic bones separating and the cervix dilating to 10 centimeters, it helped me calm down. I didn't watch any birthing videos, which was probably a mistake.
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Christine19:16
You should see this video of a woman giving birth in a creek in Australia. It's insane. She's naked, pushing the baby out on rocks in a rainforest. I said no when they asked if I wanted to touch the baby's head during delivery. I chose an epidural. I asked for the drugs as soon as I could. I waited at home to dilate as much as possible, then went to the hospital. Once they gave me the epidural, it slowed down, but I enjoyed it. Ethan and I took a nap together in the room. That was nice.
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Hila Klein23:38
I liked the epidural too. They gave me pitocin and the epidural, and we watched Judge Judy. But after the baby comes, that's when the hard part starts. The anxiety.
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Christine23:52
Let's talk about breastfeeding. Some women love it, some struggle. I hated it. I don't like people touching my nipples, and I couldn't wear what I wanted. It messed with my identity. I think it kept me in postpartum depression longer. I wish I had stopped sooner. There's so much pressure to breastfeed.
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Hila Klein25:50
I was crying the whole first week. It was stressful. The lactation consultants were crazy. They said I had perfect nipples, but my baby was starving. Nothing was coming out. It turned out he wasn't getting enough milk. I wish someone had told me to try formula earlier.
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Christine27:10
With my second kid, I supplemented with formula until my milk came in. There's a lag. They say the baby can survive on colostrum, but if he's crying, give him formula. Using formula felt taboo in the mom world, almost like treason. But breastfeeding was traumatic for me. It hurt so much when my milk came in. It's all a nightmare.
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Hila Klein29:10
It's even harder when your mother-in-law is there. You're fat, bloated, and they tell you to pump eight times a day. I listened to that advice and it became an obsession. I was so anxious that I started obsessively pumping every few hours. My therapist told me to slow down. I tried different pumps, but nothing worked. I finally stopped and decided to get on Lexapro. I had seen how much it helped Ethan.
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Christine31:11
You've been through the ringer. Everything inside you comes out, and then you have all the pressure to breastfeed. Society pushes it as the only option, and if you use formula, you're seen as a pariah. In the '50s, they told women the opposite: formula was best. It's trends. I think you have to do what works for you.
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Hila Klein32:11
I wish I had that mentality. I suffered for it. When my mom left after visiting for two weeks, I started crying nonstop. I knew I needed to get on Lexapro. I also think you can be a good enough mom. There's a book about it. You don't have to be perfect.
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Christine33:30
Exactly. You love them to death, but it's hard. Nathan is three and a half? I mean Theodore. Sorry, I mixed up the names. Whenever I talk about the bad stuff, I feel guilty. But let's talk about the good. Now that they're older, I'm actually enjoying it. They play together and it's amazing. The second one is crazy hard because you have a toddler and a baby, but now it's leveled off and it's all worth it.
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Hila Klein36:12
The guilt about having bad feelings about motherhood is real. You're not supposed to complain. It's seen as a sacred duty. But you don't bond immediately. You feel like strangers for a while. You have to learn the baby, and then you become the expert. I got resentful that I was the default parent. But biologically, the baby knows mom's smell and voice. That's home.
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Christine39:10
I created two heirs to the throne. My husband should be grateful. That's the key to a healthy marriage. Okay, let's get into mom fails. I'll share mine. At the supermarket, my son was saying 'fuck it' while pointing at something. I ignored it. Then he said it again in the car. I'm still ignoring it. I told my husband and he asked who's saying that in front of him. Obviously me.
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Hila Klein40:44
I don't curse. How do you get to that place?
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Christine41:11
I curse all the time. Also, I was picking grapefruits with my kids and I accidentally dropped one on my head. That was my fail.
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Hila Klein42:17
I don't have many fails yet because it's only been three months. But I cut his finger while trimming his nails. It was tiny, but I felt so bad. The first bath was also a disaster. He was so upset.
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Christine43:14
I've done that too. It's devastating. But they're fine. You can also just bite their nails off if you have real teeth. I have veneers, so I can't.
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Hila Klein43:38
We have another thing in common: false teeth.
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Christine43:46
Okay, we have some voicemails and videos. Heads up, we need headphones for these. I love videos.
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Hila Klein44:12
It's crazy that we had similar experiences with Hebrew. My father speaks Hebrew with me. My mom's last visit, she was talking Hebrew and Ethan understood more than I thought. I can't talk smack about him. Are you going to teach Theodore Hebrew? By the way, she calls him 'little Ethan' because he looks so much like you. It makes me mad when they look like dad. I want the next one to look like me. Hopefully a little girl. My mom thinks it'll be another boy. It all depends on his shooters.
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Christine46:11
You can do it again to try for a girl. No, it's terrible. I'm full of progesterone every day. Let's start with some videos. You were talking about how Ellis says things. We have a similar one from Meg. Toddlers inadvertently cursing is the best.
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Hila Klein47:26
This next one from Ashley: their kid likes to eat baked ziti, but they call it 'sloppy lasagna.' The kid tries to say it.
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Christine48:15
He's going to be a dervish. Alright, we have one more video and then a voicemail. This one from Alison: she walked into her daughter's room and found she had pulled out all her diapers. I did that once. My mom was terrified. You have all that to look forward to. How's the new dog adapting? Good? Shredder and Alfredo? Two dogs is chaos. Is he peeing in the house? Yeah, we're potty training. There's still poop and pee everywhere. You have a baby and a dog at the same time.
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Hila Klein50:10
A mom called in about a lazy moment. She had a glass or two of wine and marked her breast milk bags with an X or question mark. She kept all the milk for a milk bath. When she finished breastfeeding, she had all this milk. She mixed it half and half with regular milk for her child. Turns out she and her husband both got a stomach bug. She thought she put herself on a bad mom list, but she's fine.
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Christine51:36
That's a big mom fail. But you're not a bad mom. There are strips you can buy to test the alcohol level in breast milk. I love her Moxie.
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Hila Klein53:15
I'm so new to this. I sometimes don't remember what I did with him when he wakes up at 6 AM. It's all a blur. But I'm out of the dark forest.
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Christine53:52
My lazy mom moment: I had Ellis wash the side of the house with a hose. He loved it, so I bought a longer hose on Amazon so he can wash the whole house. Free labor. Also, a great hack is using puppy pads on the changing table so you don't have to wash the cover every time.
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Hila Klein55:12
Theodore loves the car, so if we're tired or he's crying, we take him for a drive. That's our cheat code. Also, the Jolly Jumper is great. Once he can hold his neck up, I'll put him in that.
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Christine57:11
Ellis loves books because I started reading to him at six weeks. I'm maniacal about my kids being readers. I have a reading routine with him. I want to start with Julian too. But I need to learn some kids songs. I only know two sentences and then I sound stupid. I tried singing Beatles songs to my kids instead.
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Hila Klein58:39
I don't know any baby songs. I'll have to look them up on YouTube.
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Christine59:11
Another hack: put a plastic mattress cover under the sheet so if they have accidents, you just peel off a layer. Also, Teddy Fresh has a collaboration with Drip and Dip that just released. The color-block sweatshirt is great because it's thick and covers a multitude of sins, like baby weight. There's also a Barbie colorway coming out on Friday. You can find it on their website and at Zumiez. I love the sweatshirt I wore on the podcast.
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Hila Klein1:11:11
You don't need to buy it because I'll send you one. I've been promising you a package for so long. That's another mom guilt.
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Christine1:11:37
I forgive you. I know you're busy. I look forward to receiving it. You and Tom kind of saved our life last year. You gave us the best advice. You're a low-key inspirational hero. What I love most about Hila is that she can make anything look cool. Like this Noah's Ark sweater is the lamest, but it looks cool on you. If I wore it, people would ask where I got it. Etsy. I like to mix high and low: something for $15 and something for a few hundred. I had really expensive shoes on.
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Hila Klein1:13:10
I love that tip. You're definitely a cool mom.
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Christine1:13:20
I'm a cool mom because I'm a little mom. We walked through the mall and you were like, 'Is this cool?' And I was like, 'Yeah, look at these shoes.' They're super affordable, only $100. You can find them on the website. You have a philosophy of wearing something hideous but it works for you. If I wore a red dress, it wouldn't work. But you can pull off anything. I love rompers. Your advice is to wear something low cost and then a pop of something expensive.
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Hila Klein1:15:12
I need help. I want to see your closet. I saw a hint in a picture you sent.
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Christine1:15:19
My closet isn't great. I like to wear the same thing every day, so I buy five pairs of the same sweatpants. I think it's from going to Catholic school. I loved the uniform. I would wear a uniform if I could, as long as it has pockets. Teddy Fresh has pockets. That's key.
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Hila Klein1:16:22
Any last words for the audience? Everyone thinks they're a bad person because of their choices. You're not a bad mom for struggling. You're a wonderful person for sharing your feelings.
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Christine1:16:45
You're a wonderful person for sharing. Hopefully people can relate. Check out Teddy Fresh and the H3 Podcast. I love you so much.