A Chat with Effie Silva | Bouncing Back

Oh, I'm so happy to be here.

Yeah. So like a lot of associates out there, I was on track. I think I was in my eighth year of practice, working really hard, exhausted, really focused on making partner. And just to give you a little background on me, I'm a former competitive collegiate athlete, and I think that has baked into my DNA in terms of trying to achieve goals and trying to make partner in a law setting. So I had received signals from the administration that I was up for partner, that I would be presented to the board at the law firm I was at, and in short, it didn't happen. I think there was so much to learn from that because it was a serious setback, at least at the time that I thought. But in my later life, I've adopted this mentality of things don't happen to you, they happen for you. And I really do think that experience of hitting a brick wall on making partner really happened for me and set the path for what was to come.

My mind was a total mystery as to why. I thought that I had checked off every box necessary. I thought that I had demonstrated my loyalty to the firm. I thought I had done all the right things, been on all the right cases, the complex cases, led trials, arbitration matters in an international and global scope. I had done all the right things that you would think would lead to a vote of yes. And when I was told the news, it really took me aback in more of a curiosity: what does it take? What is it that I'm missing? I think if I were to go back and counsel myself in that moment, I think what happens to most lawyers is that you internalize the process. As an athlete, it's like, what was I not good enough to make that goal or to make that basket happen? What was it in my technique, in my approach, in my networking, in the special secret sauce that wasn't good enough? And was I good enough? I think you naturally question whether you're fit to really be a partner, to take it to the next level, because the law field, especially in big law, it really breaks you down. You're stripped down to your core. You have to build up this sense of persistence and a skill set and really hone in on the confidence and not those insecurities that bubble up all throughout your career. So in that moment, it was a little bit of a mix of mystery, anger, the natural anger, and then also the insatiable insecurity that comes with a no and a rejection, especially when it's something you want. Yeah, when it's something that you want to be and you've been striving for for pushing up on a decade, absolutely.

My next thought was really to have a reflection. I took a moment to see, was it really partnership I was after? Because you have to start questioning why you're doing things, why you're going after it, and to stay clear on that when you have a strategic approach. I'm competitive by nature, maybe to a fault, so I needed to question whether I was doing it for the sake of making partner because it was something that traditionally when you grow up, you go to law school, you get your foot in the door at big law, the next step in the trajectory is partnership—that's what you think should be the next thing. I needed to sit with myself and become clear. After doing that, I realized that it was a serious goal. I was at the point where I was able to start bringing in my own business. I really felt like I could be of value to the clients that I was serving, and that I was a change maker. Being a woman, a Hispanic woman, the odds at that point in 2013, where less than 1% of Latinas made partner at law firms nationwide, whether big or small, it was a daunting task. But there were others before me, and I really wanted it.

The story went, as you know, being in that situation, knowing that I was clear that I wanted to make partner for the right reasons, I immediately started networking and looking for outside sources because I thought maybe this is not the right fit. Maybe I'm not going to make it at this law firm, but maybe another law firm would consider me, or maybe I would be content with waiting to see if the law firm I was at would consider me in the next round. I came to that milestone where I thought, let me look outside of this law firm to see what my odds would be, to see how others size me up and whether I was partnership material at another firm. And in doing that, what happens is it indirectly builds your confidence because it forces you to tell your story and your skill set to a new audience outside of the law firm you grew up at. Sometimes that's a challenge. Growing up at the same place may not mean you're the best candidate for making partner, and sometimes you are.

Absolutely. I think had I gone back in time, I probably would have done those checks with the outside market more frequently during my time there. I was there for about nine years, and there is so much value in going out. It's not so much a validation of what you're worth, but it forces you to tell your story and to get feedback on it. It's like trying out for a new team. You may be a certain player, like a fullback on the team you're playing on, but then you go to a new team or you try out for a new team, and they see your skill set as a striker or a forward or somebody who could lend value in a different team setting. Exactly right. When you learn that from others and you get that constructive feedback, even though it's outside of your current firm, it really helps in that mental resiliency because at a very insecure time in your life, just reflecting on all your skill sets and all the work that has taken you to where you are can be really energizing and help you build up again, challenging yourself for that growth mindset that you can get to that yes, you can get to be a partner—it's just managing it the right way.

One of the really important things not to lose, which is really difficult to do when you're in the grind of it—you're a senior associate, working really hard, nose to the grindstone—but I think what's really important is the network that you have to create within the firm you're at and also in the outside community. You have to almost take everybody along on your journey so that when you're at the moment when you can strike out and really make that move for partnership, it's not only folks in your firm who know that, but also people in the market, your colleagues, and in that support network. You're also trying to get access to challenging mentors who challenge your constructs of how you're building what you think is the best case for making partner. Sometimes not everything you're thinking is the right way to make partner in your firm, or the most efficient and smartest way to go about things. Looking back, I probably would have created a more supportive outside network as well as an internal network of stakeholders who could get to that yes. That would have been very strategic and exhaustive, and I don't know if I could have done it, but now looking back, it's probably one of those critical skill sets to work on earlier.

I was very clear that I wouldn't move for anything other than partner at any new location. I really believed it. I thought to myself, I should have been partner at this firm. I was dead set on being a partner anywhere I would move, and I also had faith that I would be partner at the firm I was at. An opportunity came along once I lifted my head and went out and saw my skill set, and it was an absolute match. The new firm I was discussing and speaking with was sort of like, 'Of course you would come in as a partner.' It was a no-brainer. That was so illuminating and made me feel so good, and it was such a great start. It was an ability to come into my own, get what I wanted. Little did I know at that point that accepting partnership is just another sort of golden ring—or sometimes they say the golden handcuffs or the brass ring—where now you have a whole set of other challenges. But it showed the resiliency and persistence in doing it.

It was an in-your-face moment for me. Going back to my sports, it's like taking off, you know, in the sweat and dirt and tears and your face all smashed in, you're getting up from the victory and cheering with the trophy. It definitely was that exactly. I'm bruised and battered, but darn it, I won. It reminds me, of course as a Beyoncé fan I have to insert this: 'Best revenge is your paper.' To do better than you did at the place where they said you're not this.

It's funny because I associated it with a lot of guilt, believe it or not. After hitting that less than 1% of Latinas in big law, I was abandoning it. You can only be what you see, and I felt like I was letting down, in a very myopic way—you just don't know who you influence at the right time in their career. But it really happened serendipitously in terms of in-house. I was living and working in Miami, had been in Miami, Florida, my entire career, and really focused on international practice. I never thought I would go in-house because one, Miami unlike now wasn't the center or cornerstone of public companies or high industry other than tourism and private wealth. So it wasn't even in my thought. I was also a trial lawyer, so you think about all the different aspects of the challenge of going in-house, and you're right, Rebecca, once I was very naive to it. I think that's another positive and qualitative factor. My driving force throughout my legal career has been really clear on what's going to make me a better lawyer. At the time I was presented the opportunity to go in-house, I thought, is this going to make me a better lawyer? Better for my clients? Better for myself? Is it going to give me a different and creative way of thinking? At about that time, I was 17 years in private practice, very unorthodox to go in-house at that time because think about all that you're giving up. You have just started generating a book of business for yourself, relying on yourself, creating a network for yourself at whatever firm you're at to continue to build on that. You would be letting go of clients. A lot of my partners around me thought I was absolutely insane. I'll never forget, I was told right to my face by a prominent partner, 'You're leaving where you're a big fish in a small pond to being a no one. You're going to be a no one when you land where you're landing.' I was so confused by that mentality. I never thought about that. I wasn't in it for that. I wasn't in it for being big. I was in it just to be a better lawyer. I've got to say, there was a kernel of truth in what he said. When I went in-house, it really is a completely different sport. It's like going from playing soccer to playing tennis or golf—different in rules and how you conduct yourself. But more importantly, you hit the reset button in terms of your networking, how you got to prove yourself, you got to adapt and really show your abilities in a different light. So yes, it was definitely one of the most challenging. And I thought, well, when I made the decision to do it for being a better lawyer, I thought I could fail. You've got to be willing to go into things with the risk of knowing you can fall flat on your face. If you're willing, if you're that kind of person where you can go into things with reckless abandon and knowing that you may come back whimpering to your law firm saying, 'Please make me partner, I failed miserably doing this'—if you can deal with the stink of that in your face, you should definitely go for it.

I went for a pitch to get business, and it turned into a different conversation and a really fantastic opportunity. So it was in that sense. I go back to this cornerstone: it's so critical to network, and not only network, but be willing to fail in your networking. In the back of my head when I was considering the position, I was really excited about it. I thought to myself, look, if I go in and I'm a miserable mess and it doesn't work out, or let's say I go in and I find myself so bored—that can happen, where you go in and it's really just not for you, not something you're cut out to be—I thought to myself, no matter what, I'll be a better lawyer for my clients because I'll see what it's like to work in the internal organs of an organization. So it happened in that sense. Back to networking, back to willingness. You can fail on a pitch, or you can knock it out of the park, or it can mold into something different. It's taking that risk too, where you're hustling for business as a new partner, and then when the opportunity came, it was to free yourself from the constraints of where you're at and think about why this is happening for you, what the opportunity is in it.

You articulated it perfectly. I think that's the one thread I've weaved all through my career: the value of networking and being authentic in your networking. The reason you're reaching out to certain people at key points is because of this longevity in your career, and you're curious and you want to learn from them and be better at whatever craft you are. I can tell you that being a partner in a law firm is a very lonely endeavor. It's built with insecurities; you're never given a book of business unless it's some lightning-in-a-bottle situation. You're constantly—those skills, we call it networking, but really it's to get business. You use the same persuasive techniques in your trial settings, in your discussions with people, in your negotiations, in your networking—it's the same thing. There are touch points where you're reaffirming those skills through your different experiences, because what are we? We are a collective of our failures. That's the only way you're learning—through failure. All those failures in my life, be it in a case, be it in a networking situation, in not making partner, in leaving the law firm—whatever others would consider failure is what set me on the path that I'm on now.

I think it really comes down to, I'm going to dumb it down to my sports background. Having lost championships, I was a goalkeeper in college. I think it's—I didn't know you were a goalie, we'll have to discuss that another time. Being a goalkeeper in college—I've got to talk to you about getting back on the poetry chain because I'm also a creative. I was a studio art major at Wellesley College. I've got to give a lot of credit to my college. I went to an all-women's college, had access to the best facilities, Division Three not a Division One school, but it supported female athletes and getting ahead. So I think a lot of the ability to fall flat on my face has always been in my ambient. I think the difference, and I do see it in different people how they react to it differently, is after you fall flat on your face and you have all the grass in your mouth and the blood and the tears, what is motivating you to get back up and get scored on again? What is it that is making you walk that path for yourself and for others? My motivation has always been not letting my team down. When I think of that, it's really not letting the other Latino lawyers down. They need to look up or see others like them. Even me, I have a wealth of women lawyers who have challenged me, given me opportunities, tested me, and even deemed that I failed in their eyes. Everyone of those people have been teachers. So I think the key is, for that falling flat on your face, realize that that is happening for you. If you're not failing, you're not going to succeed, you're not going to get anywhere. It's really the beauty of any successful career or life: being able to endure it. The satisfaction of it—the satisfaction that I made partner, the satisfaction that I'm a GC—I can't tell you how amazing that feeling is to check off, as a competitive athlete. Getting to the ultimate pinnacle—obviously I have more goals to reach—but there is a definite satisfaction in knowing that failure is just going to make you more animalistic in getting ahead.