Hi come in. Welcome to Fashion Neurosis, Christian Louboutin, thank you. Can you tell me what you're wearing today and why you chose these particular clothes?
I can try, but it's been a very complicated decision because I knew I was going to see you lying down on the couch. I never think about what I wear, but this time I considered many factors. I came as I was from Manchester; I changed my t-shirt to one with a Dolly Parton quote: 'Life has a purpose'. My shoes are a cloudy shape, a few years old but barely worn. The shoe is about shape, like an unfinished sketch, reinforced by an outline of a different color.
And it's all the same color. I've never seen you in a shape of shoe like that.
Are they new? These shoes? Not really new, I have them for a few years but they're still new to me because I barely wear them. They're almost minimalist, like a sketch. The line is reinforced by an outline of a different color. It's really nice.
And thank you. I always associate you with color a lot, and today your color is in your socks. It's quite a muted color palette for you. From my position, your socks match perfectly the soles of your shoes – red and white herringbone. You have a very good vantage point.
I always need to have something with colors. I never wear black except for black tie or funerals. I wear colors in general, but if I don't, I always have something in color like the lining of a suit. I can't imagine myself surrounded by black. I remember when you gave me black jumpers and I politely showed enthusiasm, but eventually I said I don't really wear black. I associate black with hiding, and I don't like hiding.
And do you remember the first time in your life you found a piece of clothing that made you feel different?
I wouldn't remember that moment because it probably happened at a very early age. I do remember always liking to dress up, but when I look at pictures of me as a child, I think how could I be dressed like that? I wasn't conscious of clothes until around age 11. I remember looking at myself in my parents' mirror before school and thinking I looked good. My mother once said I wasn't dressed properly and made me wear socks with my outfit – I took them off as soon as I left. That was the first time I discussed a look.
And it was a big argument over socks. Your mother sounded like a remarkable person. She allowed you to leave home and live with a much older man when you were a teenager. Do you think her trust in your decision making was part of what made you such a good decision maker?
I think my mother was very instrumental in my behavior, character, and confidence. Trust with love is a very good combo. She loved me so she trusted me, and she trusted me so she loved me. She let me be the way I was, so I had to create my own boundaries instead of boundaries belonging to parents or society. I think it's good to be trustful towards your children, depending on their character. I never had a rebellious teenage phase with my parents.
That's so unusual. Her reaction to your outfit is such a good example – she was concerned about you wearing socks instead of saying you couldn't wear those clothes. And after her death, you discovered that she had a love affair with a young Egyptian man and that you are the result. I remember asking you once if you had Arabic blood, and you said I was crazy. Then you told me the story. I wondered if you'd ever met him and whether your artistic brilliance comes from him.
The few people I have discussed the discovery with – women ask if I wanted to meet him, men never ask. No, I have never met him and never felt the need. It's the story of my mother, and I am the result of that story. My father who raised me is my father. If one day I feel I should meet him, I will. The only thing that makes me want to maybe meet him is that photographers always tell me I have a beautiful smile, and my sister said that was the first thing she noticed about him. I guess I have the smile of that man. But I'm quite busy and happy, so I don't look for more happiness or time-consuming things. I am the positive side of that love story – I received all the love she could no longer give to him.
What an amazing family you have. Your parents are both dead now, but it's a story of really good values and good feelings towards each other.
I was always surprised when I brought people home and they were surprised by the warmth and welcoming. My mother would give up her big bed for guests, and it was natural to me. For a long time I didn't understand why others found it complex. I still feel she was right.
It sounds like me and Jimmy, my son who's your godson. I'm always happy to see him, even at 3am. I'd rather he woke me up than be in a difficult situation. You're a great godfather.
I read somewhere that you said it depends on whether you want to feel dressed or undressed on which shoe you choose to start the day. Can you describe what that means?
First of all, it's more about women's shoes. Shoes can undress you or dress you. When I wake up, the first thing I think is the shoes – it's an extension of how you want to feel during the day. Some shoes are like a mask, some are the opposite. It's more daring to be undressed. When I design, I have different characters in my mind – the macho side, the stylist, the friend of women. Sometimes the macho says 'change the shoes', but I respect every character.
That's so interesting, like having different characters. When does the macho win and when does the vulnerable person win? Is there something you remember wearing to be consciously attractive to somebody?
For the longest time, the idea of sexy was alien to me. I never was interested in sexy, even though a big part of my work is considered sexy. I was scared by sexy. I dressed to look pleasant. As a teenager and in my 20s, I had an aberration of sexy.
Before you established your brand, you worked for Roger Vivier. I remember you telling me a story about how you asked him a question about age and he replied 'Oh you know, our age.' He was 80, you were 24. What did you learn from him?
He said 'our age', and I was shocked because we had a difference of 56 years. But he was right – we were pretty similar. We were meeting in our early 50s in spirit. I learned that there is not so much change as you age. You end up being a child trapped in a slightly older skin. I was conscious that adults don't act like adults, so what is it to be an adult?
I always remember coming to stay with you in Portugal when you had a tiny house. Jimmy was about six or seven, and I opened the door to a pitch-black room where you and Jimmy were dancing like maniacs with music turned up. It felt like he was safe.
