For the 0.1% of people who don't know who I am, I think I am a childlike, curious person who just wants to do things. That's it. Nothing else defines me—like being Zomato's founder, a billionaire, having wealth or riches. I don't have any of those identities. I never define myself that way in my head. People do, and whenever they try, I have to stop myself from defining myself like that.
Because then you lock yourself into just that, and you can't become anything more than just that.
But isn't it that you worked hard for that same thing? It's something you should be like, you should own that you built this through hard work, right? This identity, you worked so much for it, built it through hard work, but I didn't make it for that identity. Okay.
So I didn't do this for fame, didn't do this for money. I was just curious. It happened one step after the other. Never in your life have you had that in your pocket, you want to earn a lot of money.
Never? You had but... in your childhood, there was a poster on your wall, right? I heard my dad say this last couple of months ago: 'I was born to lead, I was never born to be ruled,' something like that.
So that poster was there, right? Then since then, there must be aspiration, ambition that I will lead, I will become big, something.
It could also be that I was bullied in childhood. All my life. So it could also be my revolt towards that. I don't know. I don't remember why that poster was there, how it was.
Because intelligent, good marks children's friends should be, right? So I think all of those... that I was... so that poster is also a bit stupid, right? Because in 10+1 I got 42% marks and something like that. So that poster and that just doesn't make sense. It does make sense because such marks bring only.
But what used to bother you? What was the biggest problem? When people said things like, 'You're dark, you stutter, you're short,' like what pinched you most in that life?
I think mostly it pinched that whenever I said something, people didn't listen. Mid-sentence, people used to start talking about something else and stop listening and look away, right? And it's like, what this person says is of no use. And can this person even say what he wants to say? Right? So those things combined. I think that was the... like you never being heard, hurt probably.
And ever at home, did mom and dad say something that disappointed you?
Of course, it was all part of the package. So family also was talking about it. They used to point this out. They didn't used to point it out. They were actually supportive in terms of stammering, that this is in your head, it will happen, it will be solved easily, speak calmly, it will happen. Whenever I used to sing, I could sing, so I didn't stammer at that time, right? So they like, see, you can sing, what's the problem in speaking? So my home was actually supportive.
Okay. But you know, even if your home is supportive, you don't think of that as valid, right? You like, the world is speaking the truth, your family is just saying it out of love, you must be speaking lies.
I think that might also be going on.
Does it still bother you, stammer?
Makes me nervous. So for example, this one also, it's not easy and comfortable for me to do this. That's why I do less of this. But now I'm like, okay, I'll get stuck. Finally, the word will come out anyway, right? But still, maybe it's an insecurity or it's a challenge that I have to use stammering as that. Not really, not anymore, as I am very at peace with it that okay, it will happen, it will get stuck, it will be seen. I think that also comes with that even if I stammer, people will now listen to me, right? So that I have earned a little bit of that, so now I don't care. Otherwise, I used to care that I will get judged, people will stop me, people will stop sort of like listening to me, attention will tune out, everything used to make me nervous and bother me. Now I'm like, okay, a five-second pause doesn't matter, right?
I think it gradually changed over the last five years, and so it's not fully gone yet. A little is still inside, it will always be there, it will never completely go away.
But you said that you don't do interviews, you don't speak much publicly. How do you lead a company then? If stammering is in your mind, that because of this I don't do interviews. In a company, you have to speak in a board meeting, inspire people at large town halls, pitch to investors. So then it doesn't bother you?
A trivia I'll ask. Guess when was our last town hall where I spoke?
I don't know. One month ago, three, one quarter ago, stretched.
What a thing. So you don't do it?
No? I think it's been like seven, eight years since I did it on all.
So you have not addressed everybody at once?
I just maybe... I think the seven, eight years ago town hall was also something that I was forced to. I mean, bad time, I had to really put things back in shape, but I just can't. I do Slack town halls. So on chat I do town halls. Like one message and people like reply to them, threads make and then next message, next message. I do town halls on text.
I the reason is stammering?
Yes. I just cannot. This too much effort. Stage, public presence, they just not my thing.
Interesting. And then investor pitches?
Investor pitches, they are one-on-one. It's cool, it goes. You are fine.
One-on-one. Was there any point where an investor pitched and because of your stammering you felt nervous and maybe that deal went away or somebody pointed that out?
Not really, maybe people chose to not invest in Zomato because of that, maybe I don't know, because they would never tell you on your face, right? But I didn't feel that.
But have you ever felt that you're in a room and you want somebody, maybe you want a client and you want investments, and at that time you sensed that they doubt your ability that you might not be able to inspire a large team, lead?
No, such a thing never in my mind.
Are there words that are still very difficult, you stutter on?
It's very random. I just like on some syllables I would stutter, like this, like double Ls, like something like that, like so.
Oh, so there's no list that you can't say this, you can't say that?
And on a good day, you can talk about anything?
So it's not like it's a chronic, it's not a structural issue.
Have you tried to fix it?
Have you tried to fix it?
I am done fixing it. If I try to fix it, it also means that I have to tell myself that I am still bothered with it. So I have just stopped telling myself that I am bothered with it. So I just moved on.
But ever like that? Many founders and public figures, celebrities, they go to classes, go to doctors, do stammering exercises to improve themselves. All of that, was that a part of life ever?
Never needed. Can I go and... I think that also made me learn how to write really, really well. So I think what I lack in terms of being able to talk, I can more or less cover up in terms of how I write.
