When you're coaching, it's a wonderful environment, I think, to learn a lot about yourself as well and how you react to situations. You know, as a grown-up, managing kids and sports and their emotions and the other team's emotions and calls that go your way or the other way and how you're handling it, because the kids are looking up to you and you've got to really set a high level, I think, of integrity if that's the type of coach you want to be.
You rotate them all in. Not just to go out and massacre teams with your top five and leave the other five standing around. That's demoralizing to those five kids standing there looking at the grass. That's not cool. And I don't do that. And I've seen other coaches do that and it might make themselves happy. It might make those five parents that are starters happy, but what about those other five? I think about the whole team and what we're trying to do to develop youth athletes and young people.
Making money is wonderful, but you know, if that's your starting driver, that's going to be difficult in sports for a lot of people that don't have that head start. And then, of course, there's a lot of people that have that head start that gets oiled with it because they've got everything kind of handed to them and they don't really earn it. There's this kind of imbalance of desire and then there's sometimes too much padding.
I think too, youth development, it's not really about the points on the board. It's about all these other things in developing a young athlete into a young person, whether it's a daughter or a son, just being into a good person and playing things right and having fun. For Christ's sakes, they're kids. They got to have some fun.
Like many future professionals, Amomar Doman was bitten by the football bug at a very early age. However, his ticket to the big leagues would not end up being as an athlete, but rather as an owner.
Hey there, I'm Scott Ren, the host of Better Sports Parents. And if you're watching or listening to this, you probably know the goal of this program is quite simple. To help you, me, and everyone else out there become a better sports parent through a series of conversations with world-class performers from across sport. And through their perspective, insight, and experience, we hope to allow you to better influence the youth sports environment so that every child can enjoy a positive youth sports experience.
Well, Amar Doman played a number of sports as a kid, but he didn't excel at any to the extent that he would go on to become a professional athlete. Instead, at the age of 18, he decided to pursue entrepreneurship and became extremely successful in building businesses over the course of his professional career. One that led him back to the Canadian Football League. In 2021, Amomar Doman purchased the BC Lions and has been owner of the team ever since. Amomar is very passionate about the game. He is an owner who is very invested in the community, but he is also a father of three. He is a proud husband and he is someone who has given his time, his talent, and his treasure to the youth sports environment. He's learned a lot watching his children in sport and in coaching his children in sport. And he's here to share it with you right here on Better Sports Parents.
Amomar, thank you very much for doing this and spending time with me here on Better Sports Parents.
Thanks so much for having me, Scott. Great to be with you.
Absolutely. And it's wonderful to have you here. Was this something you dreamed about since you were a little boy growing up and being the owner of a professional team?
You know, not when I was a little little, but I think, you know, as I got a little bit older and got towards high school, you know, those kind of things come into your mind, but you don't really, you know, know if they're going to happen or not. But I think everything starts with a dream and a belief.
So, did you at one point pinch yourself that you were the owner of the BC Lions or is that still something that happens every single day right now?
Every single day. It's so exciting. And I'll tell you what, it really does make everything makes sense when you can really, you know, not only to own a sports team obviously sounds cool and all that, but to be involved truly with it, not be a hands-off owner, but a hands-on owner, really trying to help the community and all the things we're going to talk about spending time with you today, it really has been pinch me all the way through.
Well, you are certainly a hands-on owner. Anybody who's followed this team or knows anything about your involvement in the community would certainly know that. Where did the youth sports dream start? What did you play when you were a young lad?
Sure. So, over in Victoria, played some rugby, played basketball. We played football a lot though, but we didn't have a league to play in where I was in Victoria in the Oak Bay area, but we played as friends and we'd have footballs at recess and all that. And so, it was just, you know, we designed plays and then back in someone's house, we'd throw balls through trees to try and make things fun and just we loved the game and the sports. So, I just loved all sports, but certainly football for me was just something I also love to watch. And watching the BC Lions grow up and watching the NFL, it's exciting. There's so much strategy in there that it definitely, you know, it caught me.
So, if you weren't dreaming of being an owner, who was the player that was the poster on your wall or you've visualized yourself at a young age?
Well, you know, there's so many that come to mind. And you know, I think when I think of the BC Lions, I always think of Louis Pesaggi, of course, the kicker, who is just iconic. And then, of course, there's so many quarterbacks and offensive guys that the list goes on. Roy, I mean, there's so many great names that have come through BC. And of course, the NFL, sadly, I'm a Dallas fan there, so I've got a lot of hurt going on for 32 years without a Super Bowl there on that side. But that's okay. We're loyal people.
Well, you grew up in the heyday, so you got to witness those three and four years. So you were okay for a little while there. It sounds like you sampled a lot of different sports as a kid. Was there one that stood out or were you always a multisport athlete growing up?
Yeah, you know, multisports doing a bunch of different things. You know, tennis was another one as well of all things and I still play tennis. So, you know, I just like to be competitive. I worked a lot when I was young as well. Our family obviously had a lot of businesses and forestry and sawmilling. So I was working in that. So there really was a lot of free time. It was sports. It was work. You know, I think today it's the same thing now with the family. And I don't think I like free time anyways. I like to fill it up.
What was your parents' approach to youth sports? Were they very involved? Were they hands-off? How did that relationship work?
They were more hands-off. My mom, she's an immigrant at a young age and she came over in her late teens and my dad being born on the island, he played sports, he played a lot of soccer and, you know, growing up in Duncan and so there were some there but it wasn't, you know, I wouldn't say we're a big sports family but certainly there was a passion to keep ourselves busy, work hard at it.
You were in a smaller community and obviously in Victoria which is a larger community in BC as well but it does have a small town feel. How much was the community aspect of sports important to you and your family?
You know, very important. And also attending games and also cheering on other sports teams that we knew that had friends there. We were always kind of in the mix and also financially helping out as well. So certainly doing all those things amongst delivering papers in the small town of Victoria, we did all that stuff as well. And back in the days when people read a newspaper, I think, but certainly those times have changed, Scott. But really, you know, involved from that standpoint as well and a lot of friends that were in sports and went deeper than I did. Still in communication with those guys.
So did you continue to be active beyond your youth sports experience in sports or did it end for you at some point completely?
It ended in school and then tennis continued on just, you know, more socially but obviously working out, I do some boxing, crossfit, all that kind of stuff now. So trying to stay in good shape because I think that ethic of work when you play sports or work really stick with you for the rest of your life. I think it's very important. I'm a big believer in that as well.
Is that something your parents reinforced when you were in the sporting environment?
Yeah, they did. And, you know, basically stuff like getting there on time, listening to the coach, you know, all those things that, you know, me coaching today that I'm trying to emulate those things I heard growing up as well. And also being a coach is a very, it's a unique and tough situation, especially when you're coaching your own kid. Which could be interesting because I think everyone looks at their own child differently, even though you say you don't, but you do. But it's a lot of fun. And I think a lot of this stuff has come full circle for me.
Well, it's interesting that you say that. You've been involved as a coach for a number of years now. How many of your children out of the three have you coached?
I've coached one for three years and coming on four now and he's our eldest. And our youngest one I've done a little bit of side coaching with and our daughter in the middle I have not coached, but she's into volleyball and other sports that I don't have the skill set I think to coach those sports.
So for your own kids, I know that they may be different answers, but what sports do they play?
All the kids first of all play tennis. They had to learn some piano. Let's start with that stuff. So there's that going on. And then there's football for the boys, both flag and tackle. Rugby for the boys, they're still playing that. That's a big commitment just that alone. So rugby's there. The little son, he's playing basketball as well. And our daughter's excelling at volleyball and she's a hell of a basketball player as well. So, they're all in the sports teams. It's cool. So, they are heavier than I ever was. I think like most kids today, they're programmed pretty deeply, but they're all doing well and learning that work ethic.
Well, it's interesting that you talk about the diversity of sport for you and your wife. How important was that to try a number of different things and have exposure to multisport and activities? You mentioned piano as well.
Sure. You know, I've got to give my wife full credit for that, for pushing them further, I think, than I ever would in all these different directions to make sure they try everything. I was a little boy going, geez, let's not overload them and, you know, she kept pushing them and in a nice way though, in a way that let's expose them and see where they end up. Let's let them try everything because again, you don't know until you try. You know, they can all ice skate and all these things. They're incredible snow skiers. Taught them to learn, you know, at three years old. I wish I had learned at three instead of in my 20s, but, you know, they're exceptional skiers. So, they're very well-rounded that way. My wife gets full credit for that push 100%.
So, what do you want them to get out of sports? You're the owner of a team. Maybe some people think I want them to grow up to be professional athletes. What do you actually want all three of your children to get from youth sports?
You know, number one, the work ethic has to be there. Respect, integrity, treating people fairly, and moving on when a call doesn't go your way. Not sulking, not bitching about it. It's about moving on. And all those things come through sports. I think you'll do very well as a person and a human being whether you're in business, whether you're, you know, whatever vocation you choose, if you learn a lot of these ups and downs through sports and keeping level, listening to your coach and knowing there's another side and an opponent, and being respectful. And I think if all of those things can come out of this, Scott, you know, we've done our job.
How many of those did you get from sport? And where have you seen sports show up in your business endeavors and in your life in general?
You know, I talk about that a lot. When you whatever sport you've played, so, you know, back playing some stuff at school, as soon as you step onto that field and there's another opponent, a team, you're different, right? You feel different. If you don't feel it, maybe you shouldn't be there because you feel different. You want to win. You know, these other people want to win that are on the other side of the team and your juices start to flow, right? And there's a cool feeling about that I think that professional athletes take with them as far as they can go. They live for that. So when we come into the business world, it's that same competitiveness. You're usually up against somebody or another company or something and you've got to fight every day. So it's eerily similar how many lessons come from sports that roll right over into business. And I really believe if you're good in sports and competitive and care and we always say give a you know what, if you give a you know what you're going to do well in all these areas, especially business, it overlaps almost seamlessly.
Well and it's interesting as we talk about the two and the transferable skills that it would seem to me that both in the sporting environment and in the business environment there come times when you have to make choices. You can cheat the game. You can cheat your opponents or you can do things ethically. How much crossover have you found in those environments with those particular skills and those choices?
You know, Scott, it's identical. You know, you're going to meet people in sports that are doing things the wrong way, the constant complainers, the guys that are cutting corners and cheating or, you know, the tennis and the guy calls it out when it's in. And, you know, you just see those people. They're the same people in business. They're not people you really want to associate with or trust, frankly. But you got to find your way. So you can read a book about this, but until you're actually meeting these people, and you got to get burned a few times, you always say you got to skin your knee a few times and no matter what you're doing to learn some lessons. You hope you don't have to learn it too hard. But really, you start to understand people and perhaps how you want to channel your life, who you want to surround yourself with and move forward with and avoid perhaps people that, you know, take different routes.
I'm really glad you brought that up, the skin your knee analogy there, because I am a big believer that part of the reason I want my kids in sports is so that they have a quote unquote safe environment to fail in. Like yes, you can get hurt playing sports, but getting knocked down in sports and getting back up is such a great analogy for life. How much is that a part of your ethos as well with your own children?
It's 100% like that, you know, whether it's sports, you know, they're all working or have worked and will continue to work summers and learn people, you know, learn responsibility, but also make some mistakes to your point in safer environments, not on the streets. You know, make these mistakes now. You know, touch as a kid, what do they say? You touch the stove a couple times, you'll learn not to touch it again. You got to figure that stuff out, right? And that comes from exposing and not protecting too much but allowing the leash to go out pretty far and see what happens.
How do you handle that as a coach as well? Because I think especially when a lot of us as parents get into directing our children in those environments, there is this natural tendency to want to give them all the answers to the test and perhaps to over coach. How has that process been for you?
You know, the first year was probably more difficult because I didn't really, you know, know coaching. You know, I didn't think that I'd be doing it and I like to challenge myself. So, when I took on the challenge, it was very new to me and fun and also then different because it was, you know, one of my boys was in there. So, it was very different to try and separate yourself from dad to coach and it's a hard thing to do and it took me a good year to figure that out that everyone's got to be the same and frankly that sometimes means you've got to talk to your son the same way that he's sort of a stranger kid that you know but you don't know as a player and separating that for me was a little bit difficult but good to learn and I'm much better at it now. Now I just send him off the field. I'm joking. But no, it is different.
No, I agree with you. I coach one of my daughters right now and my youngest wants me to help coach her next year. I've done it in conjunction with other parents so that there is that buffer at times where maybe you don't have to coach your own kids. We're talking about football with your son that you're coaching as well. How much did assistance help in that respect?
You know, some assistance there. You know, certainly came from some friends that I know that are coaching as well. But really, patience is something that coaching has taught me. Like I'm pretty patient in business but aggressive. But when you're coaching, it's a wonderful environment, I think, to learn a lot about yourself as well and how you react to situations. You know, as a grown-up, managing kids and sports and their emotions and the other team's emotions and calls, the same thing we just talked about, calls that go your way or the other way and how you're handling it because the kids are looking up to you and you've got to really set a high level, I think, of integrity. If that's the type of coach you want to be, I like you. We've, I don't know exactly your style, but I would understand that you're probably pretty high level integrity guy and I've seen the other types on the other field. And to not get emotionally involved in those kinds of conversations, etc., it's hard because your emotions are up as well. But I think you set that standard for your team and your kids and your program much like you would do in a business, your family. You keep that levelness. And I believe that resonates with children.
I agree with you wholeheartedly and I think as we coach, as we parent, we learn year by year and there are things you did last year maybe you wouldn't do this year as well. How have you seen yourself evolve as a coach? Not just with respect to coaching your own son, but all of the children that you're overseeing.
It's good and it's always a bit of a challenge because the ages, you know, it's kind of like 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 kind of in there. And, you know, the first, when they were younger, you know, a fire truck goes by and everyone's turning around looking at it, I'm trying to draw up a play and, you know, it's like okay, guys focus, focus, there's some of that. You go through stages as they get a little bit older and then they start to, as the saying is, put their stick on the ice a little bit more and they start to care a little bit more. And also I think it's good if the kids have a buddy or two on there. At first, I thought that's not good because all they do is talk. But it's actually better because they want to get there, they want to show up, they want to see their friend. Frankly, some of them want to compete and do better than their friends as well. And I think it turns on a little more competitive juices there, but it's also more warming.
And then, you know, have a bunch of strangers because I really believe there's another good aspect to having no friends. You're going to make friends. And in life, that's one of the biggest lessons you can learn is walking into a room and not knowing anybody and breaking through those fears of saying, 'Hi, my name is' and although most people don't like doing that, it's just human nature. I think in sports when you're in an environment with a bunch of unknowns to you, you're going to strengthen up as a human being going into that environment.
Well, and I think the other part of that, Amomar, is that when you're on a team of, I don't know, 30, 40, 50 people, whether you're the BC Lions or whether you're U13 football players, there are going to be players on that team that you don't hang out with after practice, you don't hang out with after the game, but when you get to the game, when you get to the practice, you're all working toward the same goal. I think it's such an important teaching for life and for business. I imagine you've encountered the same.
You know, that's a heck of a point you just brought up because the championship teams or the teams that win, you know, they work together when they are together. To your point, it doesn't have to be after work or going for a beer with a guy, you know, in the office and all that, but when you show up on the field or on the business front, you're united. You're after that one pursuit, that goal. You all do things the right way with the right ethics. And when you get that harmony going, I think sometimes a team can be unstoppable on the field or off, meaning business, family, whatever it is, if you're on the same page roaring together, it really is a beautiful thing when you can have that harmony.
So, one of the challenges that coaches, whether they're coaching their own kids or not, have in today's youth sports environment is what all of us are, and that's parents. How has that relationship been for you over the years that you've been coaching?
You know, it's been good. There's been some long drives home for sure where, you know, call didn't go that way and, you know, we just let things go. And of course we're in, you know, development leagues which is, you know, you want to teach kids all about that integrity and, you know, sometimes it's, you know, 'Dad, why didn't you,' you know, 'I knew that call was wrong, Dad,' you know, those are part of those lessons we talked about a few minutes ago where it resonates. And having that car time together after things don't go your way and have that kind of extra coaching to your son or daughter or whatever it is, it's very important. That message galvanizes together with father and son or father and daughter or mother and daughter or mother and son. Those are private times to be able to debrief with your own to talk about those things and sometimes it can be difficult but again, I try to keep level but it's very important. But they're very intense moments that come off the field and I think those are good moments.
Yeah, I think they are as well if they're done in the order that you just laid out. Because what you just provided as an example was your son saying to you, 'Dad, why didn't you?' That's initiated by the child. Where the problem in the car ride or on the sideline comes is when it's the parent initiating the conversation that they're going to try to coach their kid immediately after the game. They're going to tell them the things that they saw that could be better. Was that something you had to learn or has that always been your approach?
