I'd say it's like an 80% chance he's lying, or 20% he's become so senile he believes his own mythology himself. Either way, it's not befitting of a president.
Hi everyone, this is Pivot from New York Magazine and the Vox Media Podcast Network. I'm Kara Swisher.
Scott, you're back after a whole month. We have a lot of news to talk about, and we've got politics and AI, and so much happened. Uh, it was a lot while you were away.
Yeah. I think we should... I don't like to make this about me. We should just... Oh, wait. What is that, Kara?
What is that? It's a sign, isn't it?
It's a sign.
That's right. For all of you out there, you've suffered from withdrawals. I get it. I get it. You don't want me. You need me. That's right. You've been good. You've been very good. And here's your reward.
Yeah. I want you to know, for those of you who are out there, I've learned a lot in August. I've learned a lot. I decided that my jokes are totally inappropriate, and I'm going to be much more sensitive to your needs. I think of myself, Kara. I think of myself now as a feminist.
By the way, by the way, think of me as your prefrontal cortex pornography. I am a 141 IQ, 61-year-old who's economically secure with people who love him unconditionally. What do you get? You get unfiltered, unedited insights. And if it offends you, we're all going to be fine. And by the way, another gift. Another gift.
For all the haters in the comments, you tell her not to associate with me. I've got a gift for you. I promise for the next 11 months, here's my gift to you.
Okay? Zero given.
Okay, that's right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, progressive weirdos. It is not the former Secretary of State. It is not a female comedian. It is not some woke Substacker who's renting Kara's carriage house. And it is most definitely not a guy with great hair from MSNBC. Now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and also the good media buyers from Athletic Greens and Zip Recruiter. Ladies and gentlemen, it is 11 months of unfiltered dog.
Okay, put your shirt back.
This isn't gross. This isn't gross. Belly hair.
I am literally going to have to fire him like yesterday. Let me just... AI. Can I just say, AI cannot kill us, Scott. AI cannot kill us soon enough after that.
Sometimes that works. I don't think that did.
I have one thought on that entire app performance.
You're still not as hot as Hasan Minhaj.
Oh my god. Did you see that photo? He looks great.
No, you're out of breath. Hasan Minhaj wouldn't be out of breath. I think, Kara, at 51, this is like... this is not easy.
Even as hopped up on testosterone and NAD as I am, I still get very windy.
Oh, I thought you'd like have a rest. You'd be calm. You'd be better.
I will say I thought you did. And the team did a great job. Actually, it was a little bit jelly. The views and the downloads and the comments were all very positive.
Yeah. Yeah. A lot of them. Many people have come up to me and they enjoyed all the Scott for Yaga's co-hosts. They were amazing and they were all different. But I will say thank you. That was lovely. But that's an imposs... that would be a lie. Um, while you were gone, we had these amazing co-hosts and they left you a little message. By the way, let's take a look.
All right.
I didn't know this was officially scot-free August.
Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.
Welcome back, Scott. We missed you. Anyways, we tried to replace you with AI. It did not work well.
I'm so glad that you're back on Pivot to do the thing that I admire the most about you, which is doing something I do a lot, obsessing over American men.
I'll take you over Scott Jennings any day.
I'm glad you're back so that you can keep Kara in line.
I will say that filling in, everyone told me that I had better hair than you did.
That's good. You know, he goes, 'That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good.' That's perfect.
They all had a good time, but they all knew they had huge tiny feet to fill. Um, shoes to fill.
Huge, huge sandals to fill.
Huge sandals to fill. Tiny sandals to fill. Uh, they were great. They were great. Did you have a favorite? Did you have a favorite of them? I'm curious.
Well, you can probably guess my favorite. My favorite is Secretary Clinton. And the insight she had that really struck me was when you asked her, 'What are the qualities you would want to see in the next president?' And I was waiting for empathy, geopolitical understanding, and she said, 'Whoever can win the electoral college.'
She's brass tacks, that lady.
And that's where I am. I'm like, 'Let this incredible process called the primary run.' And not only find the right person, but the right person for the moment. But I thought that was actually quite simple and quite insightful. But um, as you know, I love the secretary.
She was really good. Uh, and anyone's hair that you like besides Caitlyn Collins? Caitlyn was fantastic.
Oh my god. That tall drink of water from MSNBC.
Yeah, that guy's a star. I couldn't hear a word he said.
I just kept looking at him. He's very handsome.
He's dreamy. I wanted to end on a dreamy man. That's the kind of thing. He also happens to be smart. You know how they say about ladies like...
They're all smart. Okay. Smart is not in short supply. They're all the prom king that also got a scholarship in journalism. They're all literally cut from the same cloth.
They're all great storytellers. That's the one thing they all have in common. I also like that comedian. I thought he was...
Roy Wood Jr. Yeah, he was great.
What did you do? Tell me about your adventures while you were away from me.
Um, a lot of time with family. I tried to get really fit during August.
Quite frankly, I'm just being serious for a moment. It freaked me out about the idea of retirement because I had too much time off and I'm not good with that much time off.
I start getting too much in my head and, you know, give a busy person something to do and it gets done. If I'm not busy, I get down on my... I recognize I need to be busy and it was actually too long a break. I started on my next book. I spent some time on that. The most rewarding thing was I got to hang out with my boys and the cousins and, you know, that family stuff. So that was nice. But it was basically a very indulgent August.
Yeah. It's very hard for me to vacation. I didn't realize.
I don't really know.
I've talked to your brother about this.
That you are... I mean, it's one thing to love your work and get energy from it, which you do. You are the hardest working man in show business.
Thank you. Um, I actually... it's relaxing to me. I know it sounds crazy, but I don't do well sitting around. I don't know what to do. I want to clean something. I want to...
If I could change anything in your life, though, I would tell you not to travel as much. I don't care how much you like work. Travel takes a toll on you at all.
It does. It does. And this fall is not great, but I have big chunks of time here at the house. Um, we spent, you know, we went to a lot of places. We went to Vermont, I mean, this summer and stuff like that. But while you were gone, you know, we were in New York at the new place quite a bit.
You've been working a lot. On was on once a week. David was on twice a week. You've been working a lot.
Yeah. Yeah. And we're planning some really cool stuff we're doing. I just really feel it's really important at this moment in time. But I did do one thing that I think was very good. I participated in the cat distribution system. Um, let me say hi, everybody.
Say hi to Stripes. Stripes.
How you doing? Oh, there he goes. Oh, wait one second. Boom. Um, come here. Come here. Hold on.
Is this the only pet you have in the household now?
No, I have another cat. Um, here's Stripes. See? Um, we found Stripes. Um, I love adopted animals. I'm going to let her run around. Um, we drove up to New York in the car because we like to bring a bunch of stuff up. And there was a rest stop in Maryland, in northern Maryland. And uh, there wasn't like a McDonald's one. It was like a state one. And there were porta-potties and Clara didn't want to use the porta-potty. And so we were like, 'Oh, we'll go behind the shed or something like that.' She'd go to the bathroom. And uh, there was this cat there just meowing away and very friendly. Nobody around, clearly skinny as can be. Um, and so we put her in a box in the car and took her up to New York. Got her checked, full of fleas and ticks and worms, everything else. Just a stray cat. Um, and I have a cat, I have Lovely, who is not very happy about the situation right now.
Yeah, I was going to say, how are they getting along?
Well, we'll see. You have to keep them apart because she's still got to be dewormed and everything else. Um, she'll be on medication and everything, but it was lovely. This cat is lovely. I love the cat. You know, the cat distribution system. It's called that, cats find their way to a home. Um, it's not everybody... some people get their dogs from a breeder, right? Correct. Is that correct?
Yeah, 'cause I want to see more strays put down. No, I got one from... I've always had rescue dogs. And as a gift to myself on my birthday, I've always wanted a Great Dane. And when you get a rescue dog, it's as if they know you've saved their lives. They're healthier. They're happier in general. They're just better dogs, mostly because they don't inbreed them. But I had a Great Dane when I was very young. And I've always wanted a great dog. I afforded myself the luxury of getting a quote-unquote purebred. But of the 10 dogs I've had, nine have been rescued.
Yeah. I think it's really important for kids to have pets. I think it's important for people to have pets. I always like... every animal I found has found me. Like either showed up. I found one of my dogs in a box. Lovely. I did get from the ASPCA, stuff like that. So, I urge everybody for the fall. Get yourself a pet. It makes you feel better. You feel better with animals. And you particularly, I think, get a lot of comfort from your pets. It seems like it to me.
Huge. And first of all, I've never had a cat, but there's something special about a species that can look deeply into your soul while knocking your coffee off your counter.
I'm watching my coffee right here. Look at...
Yeah. Well, just to talk about animals for a second. I, as I've talked about a lot, struggle or do struggle with depression and I have this series of hacks for trying to reverse the downward spiral. And one of them is I let my dogs sleep with me and I let them up on the couch, which I usually don't do. I find the warmth and proximity to mammals is really restorative.
Yeah, absolutely. It's really important. Anyway, I urge everyone to get a cat. Stripes is now a member of our family. Um, didn't have a chip. We did the whole like, got all the shots. Um, we'll get her fixed at some point, but uh, we're very happy. We're happy. The kids are really excited. Um, but Stripes is here to stay. Anyway, uh, let's get going. We have... So Scott, you missed so much. God, Jesus Christ.
I was really intimidated by today. I was really nervous about...
No, you're going to be great. We're going to do a lightning round. Can you do that and give us your thoughts?
I love the lightning round except I'm not much like a strike of lightning. I'm more like a tsunami that lasts for three days in my answers. More like a tsunami round.
You said you'd be crisp. So, let's be crisp. I mean, I couldn't believe how much news there was. That was the one thing every week.
Well, Trump is like, speaking of tsunamis. He's just a constant hugging bear or hugging face. Hugging bears, people dying.
Yes. Exactly. Exactly. So, huge losses.
Let's start with that. Uh, including Dolly Parton, Gloria Steinem, a whole range of people. Um, thoughts?
Well, look, Dolly Parton and Gloria Steinem built empires on their own, but they did it differently. They went direct to consumer. They didn't ask for permission. The quotes that summarize their lives in my view. Dolly said, I love her quote. She said, 'The ones who love me made up for the ones who didn't.' That to me just kind of captures her generosity. Gloria Steinem, my favorite quote of hers was, uh, I think a truly liberated woman has had sex before marriage and a job after. I thought that just perfectly encapsulated her. Also, the reality is if you're a woman and you have a credit card and a checking account, you kind of have to nod to Gloria Steinem. I mean, she really did have a big impact. She did.
The one that didn't get enough attention or the one that...
Sort of moved me was Tim Curry. Not because... of course. Yeah. I mean, he had an outstanding career, but The Rocky Horror Picture Show was a cultural phenomenon. There was a kid named Rick Pesky in my high school who was overweight, not very smart, not athletic, not very nice, had very little quote-unquote social capital. And I was an usher at the UA Cinema in Westwood and The Man Brewing. I've been fired from most of the movie theaters in Westwood. And we played The Rocky Horror Picture Show every Friday night. And Rick, I recognized him. Rick, this total dork, used to come in a white tuxedo every Friday night for The Rocky Horror Picture Show. And two-thirds of the audience would be dressed up as characters.
And there was a moment... there's a moment in the film where this super hot guy, someone will remind us in the comments, he's sleeping and I guess he's nervous because he's actually in a movie and his muscle begins to twitch. And Rick would climb up on stage, which you're not supposed to do in a movie, and he would point at the muscle twitching and the entire audience would stand up and go apeshit crazy for Rick.
Yeah. And similar to my favorite writer John Irving, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, I think gave license to an audience and people to recognize how strange people are, but there's a beauty and a wonder in that. And all these freaks and weirdos used to show up at The Rocky Horror Picture Show and guess what? They liked themselves and they had a great time. So, it wasn't so much Tim Curry's passing. It was I thought that movie was sort of, you know, how people get dressed up for Star Wars. It was a cultural phenomenon.
So, let's get through the rest of these. Uh, Trump's trade war with Canada. Give me a sentence or two.
We've declared war on the nation that has bought more of our goods over the last 60 years than any other nation. It's the definition of stupid. We sell a $1,000 iPhone into Canada, 60 points of margin, P of 30. We make $18,000 in shareholder value. They sell low-margin crude oil into us. This trading relationship has been so wildly accretive and asymmetric, benefiting us. And when I was a kid, my mom made a 9-year-old walk to the corner because she didn't want to see my dad's car. And it's like, look, you were married to this guy for a while. And regardless of what you think of Canada, the notion that we're somehow going to disentangle ourselves from a partner where we've been married for 60 years, auto parts cross the border back and forth eight times before a final finish and assembly. They sell $120 billion of energy into our nation. And you want to talk about energy security, we're going to start with Canada. And this isn't even about the morality of turning on your best friend in the world. You know, this is just plain... not only is it stupid, it's impractical. There is no way we are separating from Canada.
Yeah. I bet he's trying to offend them with Lake America, Lake Ontario. Just yesterday, I was at an event where Julie Pace, head of AP, said they're not changing it. Um, the Apple and Google doing that was pretty...
Well, they're changing the name of the San Andreas fault to Joe Biden's fault.
Oh god, where'd you find that? That's funny. Um, yeah, someone had a good one also, um, that Apple got ready for its phone. We'll talk about that a little later. Uh, by already folding to Trump. They already were good at folding. Um, so dropping your son off at college.
Well, you've done this. Yeah. Your world gets smaller so theirs can get bigger. And you'd be proud of me. I wasn't emotional. I didn't want to make his drop-off all about me.
And it helped that he basically just shoved us out of the room.
