We have got a wild episode lined up for you. I mean, Oz Pearlman, the mentalist, just came in here and blew our mind and our pants, and we are skeptical of people like this, but the way we had our minds blown was—I'm like shaking over it. It's crazy, you know, like hopefully everyone who watches this is of sound mind.
Because if you're not, you're going to really believe the Jews control the weather, cuz it's crazy. And all this with John Stamos on FaceTime. Buckle up for this episode and chrissycomedy.com. I got shows on New Year's Eve, Count Basie, Red Bank, New Jersey, and then January 10th, Charles Town, West Virginia. I do stand by my performances, but they are not Oz Pearlman level. Catch me in Austin this weekend at the Comedy Mothership, December 11th through 13th. West Nyack, New York, December 19th through the 21st. Cobb's in San Francisco January 2nd and 3rd. And Calgary, Alberta, January 9th and 10th. thehonestpappas.com, patreon.com/historyhyenas for all our bonus content. Also, you get to see our episodes a day early, uncensored and ad-free. Enjoy this episode with Oz Pearlman, as we call him, the magic frisbee.
What's up everybody? We have a very special guest here today with a new book out called Read Your Mind. It's not pronounced the way it looks. No, it's Oz Pearlman. Squiggly line up there.
Dude, I had the squiggly line for years. Nobody cared anyway. It's—I'm going against Wizard of Oz. I got like 50 years of history against me.
Why don't you change your name and just—
I should have. I wanted to. My folks wouldn't let me. First-generation immigrants. They came here and they're like, 'You're Oz.' Cuz that's how you say it in Hebrew.
So I got here, everyone calls me Oz. I have to be that kid who's a pain in the ass. Like if her name's Andrea and you call her Andrea and she's like, 'I'm Andrea.' I'm like, 'I hate that girl.' I had to be that guy and I hated it.
Right. So for the longest time, you call me whatever you want. You call me Bill. I don't care what you call me.
But now what happens is people know my real name and then somebody will meet me and say it wrong and then they feel awkward about it.
But is this your name on your birth certificate?
I didn't make this thing up. I'd be Chris. I wouldn't be Giannis. Real talk. But yeah.
But yeah, like I want an easy name, right?
Yeah. All my kids have easy names. Yeah.
Yeah. I've answered to Uranus. Giannis. Uh, now we have a nickname for you that Chris came up with and it was called the mentalist frisbee. Are you okay with that one?
Yes. I never heard it before, but if that's what you want to lean into—
Say we're Jewish people. We're very supportive of Jewish people here, but we—what happened?
Oh, Joe DeRosa is here. Yeah. Um, but yeah, we'll get him in later. Yeah, get some roach spread.
Um, but we called yarmulke a frisbee. A fun thing.
I'm not rocking the yarmulke. I'm like Jewish, but uh, but yeah, I—yeah, call me the mentalist frisbee. I love it.
We call—well, we got nicknames for all the people. We call the Asian people Eastern Hemis. We call Jewish people frisbees.
We call Greek people diner monkeys.
That's an accurate depiction. Yeah, it's very accurate.
Coney Island if you're from Michigan.
Yes. Yes. It's what it is.
We call Indians the laser beams.
Yeah. We got the laser beam is strong.
Yes. That's a little—that's a lot for that one. But no, we have fun in here. It's a lot in here.
That's why when we spoke earlier, when you said, you know, you want to help us edit the stuff, we said that's why I was specific. I said, not the content.
Content is out of control.
Content because we got to just, you know what I mean? If we want to call you the magic Jew, we just have to be able to do that.
I think magic Jew is my new official moniker. You haven't trademarked it, correct?
No. No. Yeah. So, I said I would never edit you. How could I do that? No. And what?
Sometimes to our detriment.
So, we got you in here. David Goggins.
He gave you a big shout out here. Learn to master the most powerful weapon, your mind. Now, you prove yourself when we spoke. You said you were like an ethical con artist. I mean, kind of. You wanted to go into history of this whole thing.
So, 100 years ago, there's no mentalists, right? This whole thing didn't exist. There were psychics. And there's still psychics today, but it used to be more of—you know what a magician is. Everybody knows the concept of a magic trick. The social contract is you pick a card, I find the card, you didn't sell your soul to the devil, you just sleight of hand. So mentalism, it's this blurry line because it doesn't look like there's a trick going on. Most people don't think there's a trick. And so there's also all these other explanations which has to do with body language, influencing, misdirection, deception, statistical analysis. So what I'm doing is constantly a moving target. If you don't know how I'm doing this, hopefully you're very entertained, but it's a form of magic. It's not like I'm pretending to be supernatural or psychic.
But how when you were a kid, could you feel like you could just use more of your brain than others?
So, yeah, but I don't necessarily think that's what made me a mentalist. I was just—I think it's the same as anybody who might be, you know, undiagnosed ADHD, but I was very focused and very mathematical. I was like a little Rain Man, legit. Like, I got a perfect SAT math when I was 12.
You're a smart kid. They were just throwing their underwear at me. That's pretty much what you're hearing.
You think you possibly your brain was made in Shanghai? Is that possible?
I think China wasn't as strong back then. So unless AI time-traveled, I would maybe Taiwan, not to throw in some geopolitical stuff, but uh—
Real talk, I would like—I'd count stairs when I would be—we go to Little Caesars. I grew up in Michigan and every time we get pizzas or at the grocery store, I'm like freaking like one of those savants. We ring up the stuff. I know before it rings what the tax is, like the 8.25%. I know how much it is. I know how many coins you're going to get back. It was like straight up Dustin Hoffman.
You didn't even have to practice this. This is—you were born with this ability. I liked doing this to entertain myself.
Wow. That's very interesting. Would you consider it like manipulation in some way?
It's—I mean it's not in some way, that's 100%.
Would you help me and Chris to manipulate our wives to convince them that it's okay for us to have goomars?
Uh, I don't think I could.
Right. But mathematically, what would be the probability you think if I could get you on the phone with my wife right now and just convince her that it's okay that if I have a goomar for the benefit of our family and my health—
I'm going to say 10% chance I get you the goomar, 90% chance you're divorced at the end of the call.
So it's like, you know what, you miss every shot you don't take.
Now why get into entertainment? You're obviously incredible at this. Every clip I've seen, obviously we just had John Stamos on the phone. He said Howard Stern thinks you're the devil or something like that because he doesn't believe—that he believes that you have special—
You got to see—shout out folks—to see what I did with Howard Stern last week. You really should see it.
Yeah. And then I saw the Rogan one. You know, we're friends with Rogan and you guessed his PIN number. He was visibly uncomfortable.
Was it 1776? Was that the number? It said America on the track.
If I would have gotten that, that would have been great.
Cuz that's my PIN number. I'll just tell you straight out.
Yeah. So why not like work—
is 6969. That goes back into the goomar conversation and has no chance of me getting on the—like a Greek guy, no chance. Italian, slight chance.
Yeah. Why not like work for the government or like the Mossad? Why get into entertainment?
Some people think I work for the Mossad. That's like half the comments after the Joe Rogan.
Well, a guy who would work for the—you'd say exactly what you just said.
Yeah. And I've never denied it either. Everyone—you never said no or yes to it. So I just leave him guessing.
But I'm very curious, like you—it's not a power obviously, but it's a very refined skill that you could use for your benefit. Is this just a moral choice where you just go, hey, you know what, I'm not comfortable manipulating people for my own gain in a nefarious way. I just want to do it for entertainment.
I would say yes. That's exactly right because like I said, I'm not here to weigh in on whether psychics are real because it's just like not my thing. Maybe they're psychics. I've heard people that come up to me tell me stories. How could that have happened? And I'm like, first off, I wasn't with you. So, I know something very key, which is memory is malleable.
You know, this is comedians. You walk out of the room, sometimes the set and the way somebody tells you the joke back, you're like, I didn't tell the joke like that. That wasn't the structure at all. But the way they remembered is different than how you remember telling it because people's brains remember things that are highlighted, right? Think of it as a book. If you highlight certain pages, you remember the rest of it, you're like gone. If you read this book and you get three key takeaways, this is one of the best books of the year.
So, is there a way for us to emphasize other details in the story and get her to forget that part? Like, hey, you remember the rest of the day I called you six times?
I can tell you exactly that. So there's parts not in the book, but how do you know if someone's lying to you, right? I am not an infallible lie detector, but I can give you a situation where—how I would say that most people can detect if someone in their family is lying to them, their kids, right, far more, and your spouse can know when you're lying far more than you meet a stranger. Why is that?
Because they're aware of your patterns. So, what do I mean by that? When you get polygraphed, if you get a lie detector, they don't just strap you in and start asking you questions. They do a bunch of tests to see—tell the truth. What's your real name? Right? What's your birthday? Are we in New York City? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And then they have you lie. They go, 'Tell me your name is Mickey Mouse. Are you Mickey Mouse?' You go, 'Yes.' And they see how your body registers a lie and they tell the difference physiologically. So when people tell stories, you can see patterns of how many details do they give, how quickly or slowly do they speak, right? All of these things change when someone's lying because their brain is processing what they're going to say next. Most people add a lot of extra details when they're lying. They're like, 'Oh, I'm sick and I have this cough and I—' You just don't want to come to work right now. Right? But other people do the opposite. So I don't have a one-size-fits-all approach or I'd be a freaking billionaire. I'd tell you how to always know when someone's lying, but I can watch someone, observe them several times and they go, I know they're lying right now.
Do you think you could pass a lie detector test being a mentalist?
I know for a fact I could cuz I've been tested a bunch of times.
And you just always pass.
No, I don't always pass, but I know how they work, right? So, I know what's involved physiologically on how you can—even if I couldn't pass, I think that I could have a result that's invalidated or um, how would I describe it? It's invalidated if they don't know for sure.
When I was using ChatGPT, I'm always trying to get out of stuff. I'm always trying to get out of everything. Even when I have things going good in my life, I'm just like, 'How do I get out?' Literally, I was coming to the podcast. Chrissy D's like, 'I don't know if we can do it today. I can't do it today.' You know, I like to cancel things last minute. I pick up, I move. I'm always just trying to wiggle in, wiggle out. I got excuses lined up all day, you know? I mean, I just want to—it's anxiety. It's social anxiety. I'm just trying to w— the kids. I'm always wiggling. And so, when I was trying to come up with certain lies to get out, I didn't want to go to dinner with my friends. So, I was asking ChatGPT which is more believable. And it's funny you say that because ChatGPT finally told me after like the third text I sent, it said every time I know you're lying because you're over-explaining.
He said the one that ChatGPT said would be the most believable is one sentence. Boom. 'I cannot make it.' No explanation. The one you explain, raise—and that's the one I send. And a lot of times my boys give me [__]. They're like, we know you're lying. You got excuses for days. Like I just got a puppy. Like another built-in excuse. And I'm like, all these things are true, but that specific text to get out of that dinner, I just said, 'Bro, sorry, can't make it.' Nobody said—they gave me thumbs ups. Yeah. Now, if I would have said, 'Can't make it, guys, I got the kids' recital, the dog [__],' they would all—you know—all making fun of me. All, 'You're a liar.' One of my friends always side-texts me, get mad. I'm like, are you gay? Like, guys like—and if you are gay, I am too. Just tell me where to meet.
You've been waiting—you've been waiting for that moment.
Who's making the first move in that situation?
Pat's—Pat's PIN code is 4004. Just ruined the show.
Yeah, that's what it is. Cuz it's his cholesterol.
Who was the first guy who like started this? Like who—
I don't know who the start is, but there's a guy who's real famous named Theodore Annemann, who's in the early 1900s, who kind of took the tools of psychics, like the way that a psychic comes in and psychics do a lot of what's known as cold reading. Cold reading is—it, I mean, if you're doing crowd work for an audience, that's what you're doing. You're literally doing—you look, look, this guy's in finance. You're this, you're that. You're like, you guys are from Australia. Like, how the—you know that? Because you've literally been in front of audiences hundreds if not thousands of times. Boom. Cellar, stand-up. Six sets a night. I know your world. And suddenly you can tell who people are. It's not a magic trick just because you've seen so many other people like them. Right. Right. And so when you calibrate like that and you can see what's the wedding ring like, how is the body language between you and the person next to him? You know, this guy hasn't proposed yet. They've been together seven years. You're about to lay into this guy, right? Like, what do you think Chris is?
Yeah. Like, is this a therapy session?
You can notice things about people. And also, when you go fishing, right, fly fishing, you feel when you got a bite. You feel when you got a bite. So, a psychic always accentuates the hits and completely forgets about the misses. They might throw out three names, be like, I can't tell if this is a Michael or a Maria or a Matthew, Matthew, cuz you see them light up. So, and also the person with you in a psychic session wants you to talk to—they're not there to pay you a hundred bucks to like get it all wrong, most people. So, they're there with a vested interest in you doing this correctly. So this guy took those tools and started to combine the world of magic with the world of psychics and create this overlay of like, I'm not a psychic, but I can act like a psychic and I can start to read you in a way that sounds like, how do you know these things about me?
Are you—there's also a big group of people that think that like magic and these—you know—was a big thing in the ancient world and then we just got away with it. We just did away with it and now like—Christians—yeah, but do you believe in any of that? Like this was very prevalent a thousand years ago and now we just don't believe in it anymore and only select few like—
There's magic from thousands of years ago. Like there's a trick called the cups and balls that predates most religions.
Oh, that's New York. That's the shell game that descended down from, you know, from the Greeks, baby. Like most things.
Everything. That's what it is. Uh, so magic has been around since forever because people love to be fooled. People like to laugh. It's like a few of the archetypes we like ever since—I bet that, you know, since we were cavemen—laugh, you know, eat, screw [__], and like be amazed. Those are core tenets of like what we are to be people.
Now how wild—when you do these for Black people, do they go wild?
I don't see color. I don't—talking about—no, I'm kidding. Yeah, they go nuts.
And it's a compliment. We're not even—just Black people, like they like to run out of the room and yes.
Love it. Yeah, I don't get the same, you know, white—no, white females usually. Yes.
I like the Black response better. And if whatever tricks we do in here today, we will react like Black people.
Just do that again. And even no tricks go well. We—audience answer. I said edit later. These guys just freaking out.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This little white [__] crazy.
So basically, you're saying they say don't judge a book by its cover, but you're basically saying we all judge a book by its cover. I think when we do crowd work, that's exactly what we're doing. And sometimes I will judge a conversation just based on a haircut. Yeah. If you got purple hair, I know it's going to be a long day of—
You know what's interesting too about the—I, you know, just speak specifically with, you know, I've been doing comedy now 15 years. It doesn't—it's not 100% of the time, but I would say in the beginning when I first started, if I would like—I would always do a thing like I'd guess somebody's name. Yeah. And then they say, you know, woman be like—my joke would be like, oh, her name—I'd be like, oh, uh, Patty, right? Your name's Patty. And she'd be like, no, it's Barbara. Like, that's the same thing as Patty. And that would always get like a big laugh. But I've noticed more like it actually is a thing—more times now I would guess, like a year ago I'd say your name's Patty, right? And she'd be like, how'd you know that? So that joke that I would have built in of like, oh, but when she would say it's actually Barb and I—same thing—I'm guessing the name more percentage right the first time.
Which actually kills your joke. He didn't have a tag on it.
Damn it. Why did I get it right?
Then I just go, I'm Oz Pearlman.
There you go. And then they go, who the hell's Oz Pearlman?
Yeah. Yeah. Is there Oz Pearlman? Like, yeah.
Is there anything you could tell about us just from reading patterns so far? Like—
Premature ejaculator? Uh—
That's true. I mean, look at his sweatpants.
Yeah. Can you—are there things about us like can you tell like, 'Oh, that guy's got anxiety. That guy's hiding something. That guy—'
I don't want to think it's a deep dive into your mental psyche, but let's say—for a great example, I walked in here and we were coming in hot, right? Patrick's like, 'We got to get in there. We're shooting the podcast.' And I asked you a question. I want to make sure they know cuz people always tell me, 'Oh, it's all rigged. It's all set up.' I didn't—I met Rogan a minute before I walked in. I said to you, 'Did you play sports as a kid?' Is that right? I want to make sure I said that. And you told me yes. So we've—there's been some history here. How many sports did you play?
Which one do you play longer?
Okay. So, typically I find that some of your best—I don't want to call it—relationships form in sports. Not always, but if you were a big sports guy in those years, you're around those kids. There's history. You know what I'm saying?
Sure. Especially if you played football at Penn State in the '90s.
Yeah, there was definitely—yes. Like deep. Okay. Um—
It's what it is.
RIP joke. Uh, I'm kidding. It's not funny. This isn't funny. Uh, but it was funny. Okay. Now, not really.
No, I get it.
So, uh, you leaned in more on the—you, like I said, both—and you said basketball before baseball. So again, this is telling where he might have played baseball his whole life, but then he said basketball first in the order with which he answered. Sure. Which again, you're saying, 'How do you pick it up?' He gave the answer right there. So you go back to basketball and I like to always visualize this. How many kids did you play basketball with? If I just had you take right down a list right now, how many kids you think you'd come up with? Give me a guess of names right off the jump. Like I was a swimmer. Bam, bam, bam. I could tell like seven or eight kids. Four or five. So out of that list of four or five, the visualization is one kid who walks in the door right now. You go, 'You kidding me right now? What have you been up to, bro?' Like, you have not thought of this person right before me asking you to think of him in years. Is that a fair assessment?
That's a fair assessment. If you guessed this, I'm going to react like a Black person.
This is not possible for him. I brought a marker.
And so, could I have done research on you? So, the first question is—
By the way, I just want to say he pulled that marker on that clipboard out of the back of his pants. Out of the—yeah. Straight in there.
Yeah. So, don't even ask. There is no way that you could—because I knew I'd be on this podcast. So, what if—could I have Googled? Is there any way we could have known this? And then you even just said that off the top of your head you came up with four or five people, right? Just that moment. Just that moment. And you could have picked any of those or any of those people. That's right.
So, I want you in your mind, not with your fingers, to count how many letters are in this kid's first name. And when you're done, just say, 'I got it.'
Oh. Oh. Oh. So, it's better if you don't tell me the number. It was more of like 'I got it.' But that's totally fine.
Sorry.
He did this twice outside.
But even with the amount of letters, he's—literally mind-reading show and he just tells me the thing.
All right. All right. Five letters is fine. Don't worry. Five letters. Don't say it, but I don't know. Five letters to pick from. Pick one. Don't say it out loud. Just in your mind, think of one of the five letters. You got one. Something interesting. I don't know. Whatever you look at, get one. You got one. I think—I think Yanni just—just like almost like shooting a bullseye. Bam. Did you think of the letter in the middle?
I thought so. You didn't even look. No. You say that, but a lot of time you go look this way. G. Are you thinking of a G?
I got to go with this. There's a G in his name.
It's not—it's not Grant. It's—uh, close your eyes.
All right. For those who are listening, keep your eyes closed. Y, cover your eyes. Cover your eyes.
I wrote it down. You saw it, Chris. Is that correct?
And I had to look twice at that and make sure that it wasn't what I thought of.
Yeah. So, I've written this. It's not changing. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Who—when you rewound back basketball in the day—thought of anybody? What's this kid's name?
Get the [__] out of here, dog.
Get the [__] out of here, dog.
Yeah. Get the [__] out of here. How's that even [__]—
Because you said you played basketball. It's a Black kid's name. That's a British name, right, dude? It's a British name. How the [__] did you do that? There's no [__] possible way that he could have known that. There's no [__] possible way. It's not possible.
He just did it.
How is that even [__] possible? Could we have looked this up somewhere online about you?
There's no way you could have. There's no way you could—
How old were you? How old were you when you first met Nigel? Give me a guess. How old were you?
Probably was seven, eight.
And how many years you played basketball together?
We were—no, we were friends for—
You know him too, Jess? A good friend of ours.
Oh, so you know what I would have said? Oh, maybe he's on Facebook. Maybe there's some legacy data. How about this? How about this? Formative years.
There's no legacy data. I haven't spoken to him in a while. He's not really on social media. There's no way you could have known.
It's what it is. Cuz you and Nigel are sitting down heart-to-heart, 10, 11 years old, right? You're playing basketball and you're dreaming. You go, 'Oh my god, who was your guy? Was it Jordan? Who was your guy? Who was like—Dominique Wilkins?'
Okay, so Dominic. Okay, so let's say you're talking basketball and the conversation shifts.
You're sitting there with Nigel and you go, 'Yo, man, who's the hottest girl in class?' And everybody at your school—was there like in eighth grade, was there the hottest girl? Was it very distinct?
I feel like there was a few.
Yeah. Or the hottest guy. You told me you're gay, but you haven't come out yet.
Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Yeah, there was the hottest girl.
Right. So, there's always the hottest girl. So, imagine this. See, he's not—he didn't really know who the hottest girl is. Imagine you say to Nigel, you go, 'Yo, you ever kissed a girl?' And Nigel's like in a British accent, 'Of course I have. No. No.' And you say, 'Yeah.' And you whisper into Nigel's ear. You go, 'Yo, do you know this girl?' He goes, 'I know this girl.' And I want you to imagine yourself telling him the first girl you ever kissed.
Okay, watch. He went like this. I was thinking to myself, was it Jenny? Gina is the first girl you ever kissed, isn't it?
I don't get it, dude. No, you don't understand how wild it is.
Like that doesn't make sense, dude.
That's—it's impossible.
Oh, I believe it cuz I can see. Uh, just be honest. Is Gina a guy's name?
It is because then it's a girl. Your first kiss you ever had was a girl. You told me it was a guy.
Was it Gino? Gino? What was Gino?
What is—what is your first memory? How old are you? Your first memory? Most people are anywhere—they start at like 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Your first memory. Tell us what it was. Your first memory as a kid. How old were you?
Say the memory. The first memory you ever remembered your whole life.
And tell us that memory.
Have you ever mentioned this before in the podcast?
I might have, but I don't think I know.
I remember being relatively—like had a cold on the couch. I was three. My mom went to go get me chicken soup in the kitchen. We had the TV on and I saw for the first time in my life Dolly Parton. And it's the first time I ever went pewing.
I mean, I didn't have, you know, my—it didn't work yet, my penis, but I remember feeling like, like this woman is so hot. I just—I like her boobs. I remember Dolly Parton like at 3 years old. Yeah, I had a—yeah, I'm in the program now for that. Yeah.
I'm in the program.
It goes hard in the paint. Three.
Three years old. Dolly Parton.
Let's do this. Let's keep going through your life. And that's a core memory, right? History Hyenas. Let's do some of your history.
I—don't stop me. Try not to react. Try not to do stuff that's going to give away. Watch him. So try not to give stuff away right now, but we're going to try to go timestamps and you're going to focus on each one of these years as we go and try to come up with memories. Don't say that was three. Don't say anything. I'm going to keep going slow. Four years old, 5 years old, 6 years old, 7 years old, 8, 9, 10, 11. So at each one of those steps, he was trying to think of something. At 10, he kind of blinked. He was a little confused. How many—I think I saw something, but I'm curious. When I said 8 years old, did a memory come to your mind or not so much?
I think the memory you were most focused on was when you were 5 years old, wasn't it?
Maybe you're not sure the age. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I was around then. I think I got it.
Pat, what's he writing?
Take a look. Said you're gay.
Okay. You sound gay.
Close your eyes.
I think it's like a parallel story. Where are the cameras? The camera's over here. Is it both those shooting? Good. Good. Good. This one. Okay. Open your eyes. As you were making this up as we went along and you thought of, I'm four, I'm five, I'm six, and I guessed five. It might have been five, six, I don't know, but it was just in that window of where you were like very—you were trying to—you like, ah, you saw in your eyes like an awareness.
What was a story that came to mind when I said to focus on one story, not your three-year-old memory? What do you got? What was it when you were five? Tell me a little bit about it.
I thought of the very first time I felt like, oh, I like a girl. Her name was—
Tell the whole thing. Her name and everything.
Yeah. I thought her name was Jenny. Puerto Rican girl that I just loved. That's just what it is, Jenny.
Yeah, that's crazy.
What the [__]
Yeah, that's wild.
Cuz how come you're not on The First 48 catching every criminal?
Yeah, cuz why weren't you able to find the hostages?
Cuz can you do remote viewing? What's my wife doing right now?
I mean, how—yeah, I liked a girl. I remember, you know, even now like my wife's Puerto Rican and Jasmine, she—it started with Jenny because I always like loved her and, you know, I remember feeling like, oh, this girl is so beautiful, running home telling my mom. And you know, she never ever looked at me and she always thought I was a nerd. But—
Did she miss out or did she miss out? Come on, dude. I mean, I was eating my boogers in Miss Schneider's class. But I do—that's wild. That is [__] wild.
Cuz I want to talk to you about Raycon headphones. Ooh, let me tell you something. Those are my favorite favorite headphones. That's the ones I get though. I like Raycon headphones and they're designed—I believe Ray J, who I love some of his work in his videos cuz I want to direct some of his films. I like Ray J's videos and I like Ray J's songs and I like his sister Brandy and now I like his headphones especially the Essential Open Earbuds. They keep your ears open while still delivering crystal clear sound cuz they're like butt plugs for your ears. Yeah. Here's the thing about Ray J. I really—
I really love his body part of work.
Yes, I like him too. We got Raycon earbuds cuz here's the kicker. Raycon delivers the same premium audio quality as the big brands but at half the price. Add in over 3 million happy customers and a 30-day happiness guarantee. And there's zero reason to overpay. So, you are not going to overpay, guys. That's the thing. You want good quality earbuds that are a little more affordable and also cute and also slick, you just go with Raycons.
Now, do not stick them in your ass.
Do not do that.
Right. That's the thing that we have to actually make it crystal clear to our fan base. Do not put them in your ass. Do not do that cuz a lot of you will do that because your roofs are a little leaky.
Leaky now. Yeah. Black Friday is coming around the corner. And when we mean Black Friday—wait, Black Friday came already, though. Black Friday happened a couple of weeks ago. This is an old ad, but we're going to read what's in front of us. Yes. So, what you got to do right now, if you want 36 hours of battery life, 8-hour earbuds, plus a 36-hour case that charges it up. It's kind of a day of non-stop listening. All you have to do, go to buyraycon.com. That's b-u-y-r-a-y-c-o-n.com/hyenasopen to save on Raycon audio products sitewide. And I know that this ad read is a couple of weeks after Black Friday, but we wanted to keep the theme of Friday being black, so we did it a little late.
Ooh, cuz what do we got? What is this one? This one. Oh, Hims. We're talking about hair loss. Nick, sit down. You're going to want to hear this. Yeah, hair loss is bad. Hair loss is bad. And our friend Nick in the studio. It was his happy belated birthday. Uh, his birthday was a couple weeks ago. So we got him a subscription for him cuz the kid has no hair down the middle. Okay. It's just what it is. When he takes off his hat, he looks like a butt crack.
Cuz his head looks like a public toilet seat. It's what it is. He looks like Mark Wahlberg from the movie Flight Risk. It's just what you got to do is you got to do Hims. Hims covers a convenient access to a range of prescriptions, hair loss treatments with ingredients that work, including shampoos, oral medications, serums, and sprays.
It's what it is. Now, you shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. Okay, make that a T-shirt. Hims brings expert care straight to you with 100% online access to personalized treatment plans that put your goals first. Simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss, ED, weight loss. I mean, how many things—this is like ding, ding, ding for Nick? I mean, hair loss check, ED check, weight loss check, and more. I mean, cuz if they could give citizenship—I mean, this is Nick's ticket cuz we employ only people on this podcast that need Hims.
Hims. So, you got to go to hims.com. That's h-i-m-s.com/hyenas. hims.com/hyenas for your free online visit. hims.com/hyenas. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and finasteride. Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information.
Yeah. So, I don't know how—
So, it's just—he just—I don't know. Go ahead.
Sorcery.
Deck of cards. Deck of cards.
Open it. Open it.
Look at them. They should be shuffled, but you shuffled them, gentlemen.
Why are these stuck together?
You know, it's a shame the Jews don't proselytize cuz if they did, you could convert them.
You could convert me. I like—I really—yeah.
You're not that good with money, so you should come to our team.
So, yeah, I need your help.
So, shuffle them up.
Yeah. Look at them though. Make sure these are legit.
Okay. Now, normally, right now, you'd be thinking card trick. Card trick means I'm going to do some sleight of hand. I'm not touching anything. Right? You see this? I'm never touching anything.
Touching my foot, but that's a different—
That's it. That's him. That's Yanni.
That's his thing.
On top of the table though, you can't be doing down. We can't see what you're doing. Shuffle them up.
Jesus, this guy's dropping left and right.
Or be covering them.
Whatever you want. I don't care as long as it doesn't matter. Okay.
Shuffle them. Turn them down face down. And then here's what I want you to do. You ready? Can I—uh, I'm just going to move the mic so you have space. And I want you each—okay—at the same time you're going to lift off kind of somewhere near the middle. Lift off a piece about an inch. And I want you to turn it halfway like sideways. Like now you put it back on top. Anywhere you want. That feels good. That feels good. Good.
Square them up and turn the other half at a funny angle and mark it like at a 90-degree angle and put that piece on top. You feel me?
Yep.
I feel you, dog.
So, like that, right?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. Square it up a little bit.
I don't care. I don't care. Whatever.
All right, gentlemen. Question for you. Is that absolutely fair?
Hear me out. Think about the craziness of this. You shuffled the cards. You cut anywhere you wanted. But think about how crazy this is that you two even know each other. What are the odds when you go back history that you'd even be born, right? Your parents had to meet. Were you planned?
Maybe your dad's pull-out game was weak. Who knows?
But the fact that you were ever born from the day you were born—
Maybe he had money on it.
Everything that brought you together until this day that you two are now a team working together is insane. Right now listen, I don't want to touch anything. Watch this. You each cut anywhere you wanted. What I want you to do is slowly—I want you to see how crazy the synchronicity is. Pick up the top half.
And I want you—look at this. Turn and show each other the card you cut to. Lift it up and turn it over so we can see. What was yours? Look at that and look at yours. Look. Show each other.
Hold on. Eight of spades. Eight of spades. Are you showing the camera this, gentlemen? Watch. Not just that one. Hand me that card. Just the eight.
And then I want you each to look at the next card. Look, show each other your next card.
Insanity, right?
It's not.
And wait, who do you work for?
Hold on. And wait, it's going to be the next one, too. Hand me the two. Hand me the two. And check this out. Look at each other's. You got the next card.
No, no, no. That might maybe—hand me that one. Hand me that one. Yeah, I bet the next one here. Hand me that one in my hand. In my hand. In yours. In yours. That was it. Show each other. You got the next card is the same for two.
All right. Give me that one.
No. In my hand. Face up. Face up. Is that last one? F. I think I got back to it. Is that one the same? What the—
All right. Hand it to me.
He's up to something.
He's up to something.
You cut anywhere. Put the cards down. You cut anywhere. You shuffled anywhere, right?
And this was yours that you did. Here's the crazy part. From the day you were born until today, something brought you together, right? And Yanni cut these—
And I don't know if you see this, but do you see what's on here, Chris? It says—
84. That's crazy. 84 birthday.
Get out of this room.
Get the [__] out of here.
My birthday.
Get the out of here. Ow. Yo, man. How? Yo, what would they do in Lebanon? Would he get stoned to death?
Yo, what would they do?
Yo, you have to leave here, sir.
That's wild. That—how—how—
That's nuts. How did you do that?
That's my birthday. Cuz—
He somehow manipulated us to hand him cards that were our birthday cuz you're a lot older than me.
Wow.
How did you do that? You can't tell us now. You can only do a trick like that—
With guys, because the women would lie about their birthdays.
They would say, "No, you're wrong. I was born in '87."
Yeah. 92. 92. That's a good...
Never give away a woman's age.
Yo, how sick is that? But did you... I never... I didn't think that he ever got it wrong to begin with. I agree with you, up to something, but I could never think it was that.
The first one I was like, "Ah, he fucked up." And then I saw it in his face and I was like, "He's up to something."
Because you know they're sneaky.
I mean when I took the Frisbee and I threw it at you...
That's... I had a laser beam right on your forehead too. It does.
So you could really like, you could do things with this. You could really do things.
Now I obviously, you know, you won't tell us how you did. Of course not. But does it all at the end of the day come back to math and probability? All of them. All of these numbers.
No. I mean, there's some of it, but no, I wouldn't call it... I think that the key is being able to read people in a certain way, the same way that you do as a comedian. I watch comedians far more than mentalists. I don't even like mentalists. I'm a big comedy fan.
Really? I used to live in the village. We used to go to the Cellar. This is before the Cellar had like 27 locations.
Literally just the main room downstairs. We used to go there two or three times a week.
Right. And you were doing it for fun and research.
I didn't even know at the time I was doing it for research, but it's like my love is stand-up comedy. So I was doing it for just... I love watching it. I love watching and over time I kind of process what's timing, when do you pause, what shows somebody who's great, how do you deal with a heckler effectively, right? If you're punching down versus punching up, how do you get the crowd on your side? Because you've always seen the people that go over the top on a heckler and then the crowd turns against you.
Giannis just punches them even if they're a woman.
Look up the story from Bar Four from 10 years ago.
He's uncancelable, this man.
Wow. I mean that... I don't know because you know the only other experience I had... I know you guys do different things, but I did something with David Blaine once and what he did was amazing, but it wasn't that like...
He did... it was really more like writing numbers on a card and then I had that card in my pocket and he was able to produce the card like with how I wrote it. I forgot like how it got there, but I remember being blown away. But that's... I don't know, the birthday in cards is kind of nuts.
That's kind of... I mean...
Because Giannis, as the Greeks do, he always takes a year off. So on Wikipedia that's not even his real birthday.
Yeah. They always take a year back.
Deep cuts. He's 50 but he's, you know, 49.
Yeah. It's more of a Socrates play if you know what I'm saying.
So you got it for... you got his birthday.
Yes. So that's... So are you ever tempted to...
You don't even know where I'm hiding a gallon of tzatziki on my body right now.
Now let me ask you this. Can you do things? These are mind-blowing things, but like could you make Nick's hair grow back?
Nick, take off your hat. See that? Could you get that back for us?
I can make it grow mostly out of his ears and back.
Nick, was this mind-blowing to you?
And your people call this Santay, right?
Yeah. I just don't... to be completely honest with you, I don't know how it's possible that he guessed the name Nigel. I don't even know how that's possible. I'm telling you, I'm being honest with the fans like who are watching now. There's no way that...
I could see there's just no way we didn't interact.
And you didn't even do your birthday.
We did each other's birthday.
That's what I'm saying. Because... because for me...
Do you guys pee together when you go to the bathroom? Do you hold...
Yeah. Oh, I don't know how you do it.
That's it for me. I got to leave you wanting more.
You got live shows that you do as well?
I have a show coming up December 21st. I don't know when this is dropping.
No, we're dropping this in two days.
Oh, Medford, Massachusetts, the Chevalier Theater.
Yeah. Got a few seats left. I don't know if there's any tickets left or not, but typically I'm different than you guys because I'm a corporate guy. I do a lot of corporate events, a lot of TV.
Yes. Pause.
Lucy. Hold on. I got a little Lucy...
Because I love Lucy. Do you? I do. I am a nicotine user. I love nicotine. I love the flavors that Lucy gives. I love that they just send them to your house so you don't got to get up late and go to the gas station when you're jonesing. I love planning out my Lucy usage. I love, as always, I tell you, the espresso flavor. It's absolutely delicious. But they have other amazing flavors that you can go check out.
