General Counsel & Chief Wind-Down Officer, Bowflex
Search every verified Robert Hoge interview, podcast appearance, and on-the-record quote — each transcript cross-checked by AI and human review to confirm speaker identity. Robert Hoge, author of the memoir "Ugly" and a former political advisor, has spoken publicly about his experiences with facial deformities and the concept of "owning" one's face. In a 2015 TEDx talk, Hoge described being born with a massive tumor on his face that pushed his eyes to the sides of his head, and having a nose reconstructed from one of his deformed toes during childhood. He stated that the biggest obstacle to people owning their faces is "us disowning them when we ogle a photoshopped magazine cover" or "click on the link promising celebrity photos without makeup." Hoge argued that "owning is choosing" and encouraged people to "choose to accept your face, choose to appreciate your face." In a 2014 interview, Hoge discussed his relationship with beauty, saying he believes there is an aesthetic standard by which people can be classified as ugly, but that "there's nothing wrong with beauty." He noted that his mother initially rejected him after his birth, but that his siblings voted to bring him home. Hoge recounted that at age 14, his parents gave him the choice of whether to undergo further surgery, and he decided against it. He said he still finds it difficult when his wife tells him she thinks he is beautiful, but understands "that it's real for her and that's the important thing."
“The biggest obstacle to us owning our faces is us disowning them when we ogle a photoshopped magazine cover, when we click on the link promising celebrity photos without makeup.”
“When I was developing in my mother's womb, I had a massive tumor at the front of my face. It was about the size of my newborn baby's fist and pushed my eyes to the side of my head, like a fish.”
“My mother rejected me; she decided then and there that she couldn't connect with this face. She didn't want to own it, she didn't want to own me.”
“The doctors told my parents they were going to do about 40 different surgical procedures, including slicing open my face, cutting a V-shaped chunk out of my skull, pushing my eyes back to the front, and using one of my deformed toes to build a new nose.”
“There's a one in four chance your son may die on the operating table. My dad was a gambling man, and he did not like those odds. He argued, 'Why would we risk our son dying just for pride of appearance?'”
“My parents said, 'Now, Robert, you're 14, you're almost an adult. It's your choice; if you want to have this surgery, great; if you don't, great.' I was a grade-9 boy and didn't know how to make this decision.”
“My brother said, 'What use is it being pretty if he can't even see himself?' In that instant, I owned my face; I realized I had a choice and could actually own my face by exercising that choice.”
“There's an uncanny valley of ugliness, too, and it relates perfectly to notions of ideal beauty. We try to define ideal beauty like it's Mount Everest, and that everyone needs to climb it. That's actually wrong.”
“Ideal beauty is much better when we think about it as a million different points on the map. Choose your own point on the map and walk away from it, because it's the choices that matter.”
“Owning is choosing. Choose to accept your face, choose to appreciate your face, don't look away from the mirror so quickly; understand all the love, and the life, and the pain that is part of your face. That is the art of your face.”
“I think there's an aesthetic standard which people can fall within a range of normal and I think there's an aesthetic standard that people can classify mean people are classified as beautiful and I think there's an aesthetic standard where people who fail to meet that can be classified as ugly. I don't think there's ne...”
“When I was born I had a massive tumor in the middle of my face which pushed my eyes to the side of my head so my eyes were here where these dents were or are in the side of my head. I had two deformed legs and in the early '70s when I was born there were no scans, there was no warning that I was coming.”
“My mother had a sense that something was wrong. She asked as soon as I was born, not if it was a boy or a girl, but 'Is my baby okay?' and the doctor said no, he's not okay, he's got a big tumor in his face and something wrong with his legs. She basically sent me away without seeing me.”
“My mother was worried about the impact of bringing me home on her four normal children and the impact I'd have on their upbringing. She gave them a say in whether I came home, and thankfully one by one they all said yes.”
“When I was about 4 and a half, doctors did a big operation to remake my face. They amputated some deformed toes off my legs and used those toes to build me a new nose, which was an amazing thing to do in 1977.”
Father, author of the book 'Ugly' and political advisor Robert Hoge explores why we all need to own our own faces. Sharing his ...
Robert Hoge, journalist, former speechwriter and political advisor and author of Ugly: My Memoir Moderator: Natasha Mitchell, ...
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