How does it work? I'm confusing. Okay, the audio edition of The Week is out tomorrow morning, and then by noon I think my video, the video show that I host, is out on Prop Media's YouTube channel and Substack. The Substack version is for paid subscribers and it's commercial-free, I believe. Oh, oh my goodness. Um, and that comes out tomorrow, and I was doing that, and then I had to...
Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. And then while I was downtown, I thought, you know what? Let me bring the new Timex that I bought.
Oh my goodness. Is there... Oh my god, there's more. I'm going to need counseling. What? She's so kissy today. What's going on with you? Um, I brought my new Timex to a watch, uh, a jeweler downtown that was nearby Vox Media to have links taken out because I don't have the proper tools for this particular, um, bracelet, like the size of the screws.
Anyway, this is it so you can see. Isn't it great? Look at this. I'll just show you. I'm so happy with this. Uh, it's the Timex Eline and, um, you know, money well spent. Let's just say, look at that. That's the watch. I had the links taken out, the necessary links. Isn't it handsome? I think this is going to be for...
I mean, go figure. My everyday watch is a Tudor and this is going to be my dressy, like fancy occasion watch, right? Look at that. It's a Timex.
And I just think it's so elegant. This is an automatic movement from the Eline. Um, I also have their GMT and I had to have some links taken out of it. I have tools to do it. I can actually add links to and from my Tudor watch, but the screwdriver, the little tiny, teeny tiny baby screwdriver that I have is not small enough for this sucker. Anyway, I love this thing. I'm so happy with it. Um, and I'm just taking it out. This is my first time wearing it. It arrived Saturday.
So, yeah. Here we go. Um, so I had that taken care of. And then I had a little bit of lunch down at Temple Bar in the Beekman Hotel, which I strongly encourage anybody to do if you're ever downtown. And also, if you've got the means, I can't recommend the Beekman Hotel enough. It is one of the sexiest hotels, uh, downtown, like way downtown, financial district downtown, you know, duh, kind of fantastic.
Uh, so did you guys there? I mean, what to dig into, right? Uh, um, where do we start? We start with the GOP, the Republican convulsion, the midterm convulsion down in Dallas. And that really is the correct word. The 2026 Republican convulsion in Dallas, where they rolled out on the jumbotron a thirst trap photo of Hassan [__].
Oh, poor Lindsey Graham is bummed that he missed that, huh? And [laughter] and then an elephant came in and literally pissed all over, like, you know, the little runway that the elephant was walking in on, which is the perfect metaphor for the Republican convulsion. And then the big news...
I mean, there was a lot, there were a lot [laughter] like there was some really big news drops and none of them were good. You know, there was the elephant pissing, there was the Hassan [__] thirst trap, like basically a dick pic, but like he was wearing like bikini briefs or whatever. Um, and then the Grindr crash. That's my favorite. The Grindr crash, you know, like whenever there's a gathering of Republicans, that train is never late. And you know, Republicans have cornered the market on secret, closeted, shame-based dick sucking. They have cornered the market. Wives, check your husbands'—Republican wives, check your husbands' phones, okay? And go look up the sound of an alert from Grindr. And if you hear—and it's the only app that uses that noise—and if you hear that noise, get your lawyer on the phone. Yeah.
Uh, that's, there's no other way to describe it. The shame-based, closeted dick sucking from closeted or, uh, you know, shamed Republicans. Amazing. Grindr crashing Dallas again. That train is never late and it never ceases to amuse us all. Uh, and then what happened? Oh, Trump promised five grand, basically bribing people. If you vote, if we hold on to power in the midterms, if we win the midterms, I'll give you five grand. Sure, Don. That'll happen. Um, is, does anybody believe him anymore? It's kind of amazing. Kind of amazing.
And then the other event from, um, the GOP convulsion in Dallas that stands out from night one, because there's more to come, you know, uh, but from night one was, uh, John Fetterman's, uh, crossing to the other side. John Fetterman's on the dark side. Listen, if you didn't see this coming, you're not paying attention. The outfit said it all from the get-go. That outfit is MAGA. It's been there the whole time. So, I mean, disappointing, sure. Surprising? No. No.
I mean, Mar-a-Lago is where people go. Like, it's like real estate and yoga certification is where people—like everyone's plan B. Like if they want, like if they, you know, if the acting didn't work out, um, or if their TV gig didn't work out, then go get your real estate license or get certified as a yoga instructor. You know, it's a safe plan B for politicians who, you know, are losing their options. Go to Mar-a-Lago. That's where everybody goes. That's where everyone's going.
What the [__] else was Kennedy ever gonna do? Bobby Kennedy never, ever going to be elected to office, like never going to be in government ever. His only shot was stepping over to the dark side and going MAGA, and here we are. Same with Fetterman. Uh, and now look at Michael Cohen back because the options were just not working out. Also, let's not forget Michael Cohen knows where a lot of bodies are buried, and I think MAGA and Trump World were going to do whatever they could to... Why the [__] is everybody walking near me? I love this. Like, I'm trying to like just kind of occupy a space off to myself. It's amazing. Um, I'm out in public. What can I expect?
But, uh, yeah. Now, Michael Cohen knows where the bodies are buried and [__] was getting ugly, especially with Epstein stuff. We need Michael Cohen back on our team and we got to keep him comfortable and quiet, and here we are. Um, do I know this for sure? No. But does it track seamlessly? What else? Um, an amazing news day yesterday. The iPhone Fold. Does anybody want one of these? I guess people who had their hands on it are converts right out of the gate. I am never one to get Apple's first thing of a thing. Like I've never gotten version one.
I did get the first iteration of the iPod, which I should have kept because it's kind of a collector's item. It had the FireWire and that dial on the front. Like the first iPod held a thousand songs. That would have been cool. Um, but I didn't have the first generation iPhone. I didn't have a first generation, uh, Mac when we were in college. Like Apple, Steve Jobs really kind of turned Apple into that one thing is all you need. Uh, and a keyboard and a mouse when I was in college. The Mac. The Mac. Duh. That happened when I was in college. And I was not the first one to get one. And then eventually I did get one. Um, uh, iMac, I wasn't the first one to get one, but same with iPhone, same with iPad. Like, I waited. I was never first in line.
I still don't have an Apple Watch. I'll never get one. The folding phone, it doesn't have a lot of value for me. It doesn't—I like the phones the way they are. I like the iPad. iPad's my favorite, um, Apple device. Uh, I'm in the minority there, I think. I'm not into the watch. I love my phone, but I like the regular size. I like the phone when it was even smaller. Like I think the perfect iPhone size was, I think, the iPhone 5. That was perfect. But that's just me. So the folding phone also starting at two grand, and if you get one fully maxed out, then you're talking three. No. No. I'm not into it.
The only thing I'm really—and I have, you know, I, I, I'm not—I have no reason to update any of my Apple tech with the rollout. So far, I'm good. My iPad's good. My MacBook Pro is good. This is an iPhone 17 Pro. Sorry, Lenore. Sit down. Um, God, what was that about? That was mean. She laughed. She just sort of lunged at someone. This is why I can't have her off leash. She's a weird dog. Anyway, it's a lot happening yesterday. A lot happening yesterday, especially at the, uh, 2026 Republican midterm convulsion in Dallas.
They're so gross. And like I guess Trump talked for 90 minutes about what? About what? And I love the scan of the crowd size in the stadium. Is that thing even half full? I'm guessing not. Uh, [sighs] so here we are. And also they're doing everything they can to steal the election. Another big upset from the Supreme Court, um, with the redrawn attempt at redrawing districts in Missouri. Fantastic. Another [__] slap from the Supreme Court. I wasn't necessarily expecting that, but I was happy to see it, of course. Um, yes. Uh, yeah. What else? I wrote some things down. Did I cover everything? Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of about it. Uh, let me just check in with you nice people. What do you got to say? Love the white shirt. Thank you.
Uh, gosh, the sun glare is really getting us here. Too expensive. I mean, you're talking about the phone, I presume. Sure. Yes. Trump was supposed to give us, you know, a few thousand before, too, right? And let's not forget this is going to cost—it would cost the government trillions. But you know what he could do is not go on his golf weekend, and that would save taxpayers quite a bit of money, actually. Um, yeah. Scotty Monty, what's going on? Um, if you get a chance—oh god, I can't read. It's too bright. This is the hazard. Let's see if you got to check out Russell Crowe's Instagram. Um,
Thought the elephant thing happened at a GOP event. Oh, maybe it did. I don't know. Um, it is a good-looking watch. My new beauty. So, yeah, that's what's up. Let's see. God, the glare from the light. I'm so sorry, guys. Converted map was Missouri. Oh my god. Did I say Minnesota? Sorry. Missouri. Yikes. Thank you for correcting me. This is what happens when I don't have a producer.
All right. So, yes, the attempt at fixing the electoral map, the redrawing of the map was Missouri. Sorry, not Minnesota. Wrong MI state. Wrong MI. Midwest state. Sorry. Uh, that's about all I know, guys. Uh, that's it. I'm going to go to—um, I got to go to the pet store for this [__]. We need to brush her teeth again today. She's not going to like that, but it's really not much her choice. Uh, we got to brush your teeth. Yeah. And I got to go get some of your food. Um, and that's it. So, thanks for hanging out. I will be back with you tomorrow, Friday, loaded up for the weekend. And, um, yeah, more to come. Thanks for subscribing, guys. By the way, I hope you're enjoying at least some of my musings. And, um, yeah, that's it. All right.
Make sure your registration is all intact, by the way. And also, states are starting to send out their mail-in ballots. Make sure that everything is accurate. Don't give them a reason, because they're trying to take—with the redistricting attempts, the attempts to invalidate mail-in voting, trying to steal the election. Okay? Every accusation is a confession. And I just saw a rat. A rat just running across the park like willy-nilly, like all day, like bright broad daylight, only in New York. It really does look like a squirrel with a skinny tail. Um, so yeah, get your, uh, registration,
your mail and stuff, whatever you're doing. Make sure that everything is all good. It's—we say it every election. This is the most important election ever. This one I think truly is. Like, the stakes keep getting higher, right? The bar keeps getting lower for them, and conversely our stakes keep getting higher. So get all your registration stuff or make sure everything's on the up and up. I say it all the time. I'll say it again. If there's someone in your life or a neighbor or someone in your family who is old and can't get out and about and needs help, offer to help. Take that person to do whatever, sign whatever, fill whatever out. Like, just, you know, reach out and be of service to someone. Um, and yeah, let's get this. Let's lock and load for midterms 2026. All right, love you guys. Thanks a lot. Talk to you soon.
